Authors Note: after my first story had been so grim with its descriptions of mass genocide, I wanted to write something light hearted and fun but which actually asked the question-‘what COULD humans actually do to compete in the universe; what do we do have that IS actually possibly a unique weapon?’ So I wrote this. Still ended up with mass genocide but we can laugh about it...
Transcript of broadcast; SNN News Hour; Special report; Broadcast Live 8:03pm EST June 19th 2089; SNN Host Meredith Walker presenting Transcript begins 6 seconds in:
Meredith Walker: ...thank you for joining us here as we continue our coverage of the first annual Victory Day celebrations with SNN’s exclusive interview with all three ‘Heroes of the Liberation’. They have not been seen in public since Victory Day itself and we are very honoured to have them all here.
SNN News Hour Ident; return to studio
Meredith Walker: So on my right is Dr Li Huning, Head of Xenobiology at the University of Beijing, former member of the U.N.A.L.C. and recently appointed member of the Standing Committee of the Politburo of the People’s Republic of China...
Dr Li Huning: Hello Ms. Walker
Meredith Walker: Of course we have Admiral Sir William Patterson, of the British Royal Navy, named by Time Magazine ‘the greatest military genius in human history’ and newly appointed Commander in Chief of the Allied Earth Interstellar Fleet...
Sir William Patterson: Thank You Meredith. Good evening everyone.
Meredith Walker: And finally we have Yolanda Yaltzer, writer, director, producer, fashion designer, social media influencer and author of the best selling book ‘Don’t you screw with me alien boi’
Yolanda Yaltzer: I am like stoked to be here right now. Like we are actually talking to like the ENTIRE world? That’s wild!
Meredith Walker: Thank you Miss Yaltzer
Yolanda Yaltzer: Call me Yo-Yo as in the Haus of Yo-Yo. That’s my new fashion range name by the way.
Meredith Walker: Indeed. Thank you. Now before we start a brief reminder of the achievements of the Three Heroes and our glorious victory...
(Video segment; 6 minutes long; video ends; commercial; end of commercial Meredith Walker reintroduced the three)
Meredith Walker: So, I have to ask- 26 years ago- 2063; where were you when the invasion took place?
Yolanda Yaltzer: Like OhMYGawd, I was in bed. So, I was at High School but was at home that day cos I had mono. My family lived in San Fernando and I remember seeing those spaceships on TV and was all ‘Am I tripping balls?’ cos I was like worried the mono was making me all freaky...
Sir William Patterson: I was at also at my parents home when they arrived. We lived in Wiltshire. I’d just graduated from Queens Cambridge.
Meredith Walker: So you were not a member of the military back then Sir William?
Sir William Patterson: Far from it. I was a newly minted holder of a masters in 18th Century European Literature. I joined the Royal Navy a week after our surrender. Many people joined their militaries after that back then.
Yolanda Yaltzer: You know what’s weird? I’ve liked watched EVERY single Hollywood movie ever made about aliens invading Earth and like they ALWAYS show space ships over America and shiz. But when it happened? They all freaking appeared over China! Like China! No offence Doc. But I think we were not prepared for the reality of an alien invasion.
Sir William Patterson: Well, they targeted the top 24 largest cities on Earth as you know and only New York made that list; China ended up with six ships hovering above them and India had five, with Lahore being close but...
Dr Li Huning: I was in Shanghai when they arrived
Yolanda Yaltzer: No! Freaking! Way! You never told me that Doc! Gee, you think you know a guy...
Dr Li Huning: I remember the panic. The vast leviathan above us. Its immensity. I knew then, I think we all knew then, that there would be little fighting. Their sheer size. The absolute power of them.
Meredith Walker: Indeed Doctor. And three weeks later Prime Minister Akoshi of Japan surrendered on behalf of the human species. Some feel that he acted hastily, unilaterally, that we should have at least tried...
Sir William Patterson: No, I’m sorry Meredith, but that’s revisionism. We had then, as now, no weapons capable of combatting the Vorton. I’ve seen what their ships can do. We would have been annihilated.
Dr Li Huning: Akoshi was Prime Minister of Japan and Tokyo was the largest city in Earth. The Vorton believed it was the main centre of human life. They insisted upon him representing all humans. My government, all governments, agreed.
Meredith Walker: The North Koreans didn’t.
Sir William Patterson: And that’s why there is no North Korea anymore Meredith.
Dr Li Huning: What happened there convinced us all. All governments. It was pointless fighting them. Akoshi was just unlucky to be the man who had to kowtow.
Meredith Walker: And with that, as we all know, the occupation began...
Dr Li Huning: It was hardly an occupation Miss Walker. Only a handful of Vorton ever came to Earth.
Meredith Walker: You met with the Vorton very early on didn’t you Dr Li?
Dr Li Huning: Yes. My position then was Head of Astrobiology at University of Shanghai. My government felt this would give me some insight into the creatures. So I was asked to join the United Nations Alien Liaison Committee in Geneva. We alone would meet with the Exarch and it’s three advisors.
Yolanda Yaltzer: And Vorton were like SO freaky. First time I actually met one? Half of me wanted to scream and half of me wanted to hurl. Like super-chunks. They were so large and weirdly shaped. Kinda like some kinky dildo.
Meredith Walker: The first nine years then of the occupation...
Dr Li Huning: Again. Not an occupation. We humans had submitted. We were a client planet for the Vorton Ascendency. One of a dozen such planets. They demand we provide whatever they wished for and in return for allowing them take it we would be left alone.
Meredith Walker: But members of the race would travel to earth to destroy large parts of the planet, the operations they carried out...
Dr Li Huning: When they stripped mined Alberta? Only five Vorton operated those machines. They sought the shale gas, informed us of their intention, landed, and took it. Five Vorton, two machines. Not an occupation.
Meredith Walker: But they destroyed over 43 million hectors of virgin wilderness...
Dr Li Huning: I do not justify what they did. Nor try to present it in a way other than what it was. We had encountered an alien species many times more powerful than us. They could have destroyed the human race in a moment. We just complied because we had no choice.
Meredith Walker: And yet critics maintain an active resistance would have dissuaded them from doing such things.
Sir William Patterson: Those critics are idiots.
Meredith Walker: Harsh words Sir William.
Sir William Patterson: Yes they only had a handful of Vorton on Earth but they only NEEDED a handful. They were a hive mind. What one saw they all saw.
Dr Li Huning: Many, even today, say we should have killed isolated Vorton as a sign of resistance. This would have been foolish. If we killed one the whole race would know.
Meredith Walker: But those critics insist that had we acted fast enough...
Dr Li Huning: They do not understand quantum biology Ms Walker. Those critics brandish ideas around like ‘a bomb acts quicker than the speed of thought’. These ideas are foolish. Vorton minds were linked in a much more complex way. Complex Quantum entanglement captured in biological form. If we killed one the entire species would know of its death. Instant communication over a dozen planets.
Yolanda Yaltzer: Like, can you IMAGINE taking a dump and EVERYONE knows your dropping? Like GAWD!
Sir William Patterson: I must echo Dr Li’s words here Meredith. The Vorton species was, until recently, the most formidable race in the galaxy. A collective hive mind, driven by a single purpose. I dedicated my life to fighting them as you know, and have been told I helped defeat them. Well then, with those credentials allow me say- Those critics who wish we had done more those first ten years or so, they do not know what they are talking about.
Dr Li Huning: The Vorton didn’t occupy us. They took what they wanted and left us alone. They desired all subject races be useful for them is all. We were not and until we could be, our planet was judged useful. This was why they took the shale and the copper and the zinc...
Meredith Walker: Useful. Interesting choice of words Dr Li. You refer, of course, to the Paris experiments?
Dr Li Huning: I was not involved in those projects.
Meredith Walker: But you knew off them?
Dr Li Huning: The Liaison Committee approved of the attempt to see if humans could connect to the Vorton hive mind.
Meredith Walker: Even at the cost...
Dr Li Huning: All those who died were volunteers.
Yolanda Yaltzer: Ohhhhhh the brain melting? Oh that was SUPER gnarly. I saw pictures of that stuff after I got security clearance. Like we are talking Mr Bufu! I mean Lord-God-King-Bufu. It was as grim as balls.
Dr Li Huning: Human brains could not merge with Vorton. We had the base structure but in their words their brains were a million times more complex. We were not as useful to them as our planet was. We would not be seen as useful until after the creation of the films.
Meredith Walker: Now that leads us onto a subject many are curious about. The Human-Vorton film industry. Dr Li- how did it all start?
Dr Li Huning: I would ask Miss Yeltzer, she was the most successful exponent of it.
Meredith Walker: Yes but who was it who brought her in- whose idea it in the first place?
Dr Li Huning: You misunderstand. We did not bring Miss Yeltzer into this. She brought us into it.
Meredith Walker: Miss Yeltzer?
Yolanda Yaltzer: Hel-Lo! Yeah. Oh I know this one. So it’s likes SUPER convoluted. But like really if you gotta pick a day when the whole thing started it’s when those cops in India like raided that call centre...
Meredith Walker: India?
Yolanda Yaltzer: Yah. There was this guy, some minor dweeb working there, real sweaty cubical meerkat, and he was making memes about the Vortons in his work time. Like super weird stuff, little animated films of Vortons screwing elephants. Cos like they were SO large.
Dr Li Huning: This part of the story has not been declassified yet Miss Yaltzer.
Yolanda Yaltzer: Oops. My bad.
Dr Li Huning: Miss Yeltzer refers to a raid carried out by the Mumbai police force on a warrant issued by the Liaison Committee in Setember 2072. A series of short animations about the Vortons had began appearing on the internet, each growing in extreme content. We worried that if even one of the Vortons saw them they would all know and we would face an overreaction so we ordered the creator arrested.
Meredith Walker: Sir William? You were not involved in this at the time?
Sir William Patterson: No, I was simply a junior officer in Whitehall at the time. It’s all Yolanda.
Yolanda Yaltzer: So like I was there yar? I was freakin Ground Zero. Like not in the raid in India, obviously BUT... well I was working at a SPFX company in LA at the time. I’d graduated from the animation department at UCLA by then and like EVERYONE went there to work for Pixar and I was like ‘no way I’m gonna work for the damned mouse’. So I ended up at this little place that specialised in high end late stage rendering of CGI. And like someone sent us a copy of the Indian meme animations. And immediately I was like ‘WHOAH DUDE!’ Cos I could see there was something special.
Meredith Walker: What drew you to it?
Yolanda Yaltzer: The detail. Like whomever rendered the image- he’d SEEN a Vorton up close. Not on TV but in the flesh. They rendered it really well. Like, maybe cos of the nature of their bodies but it was easier to cross the uncanny valley with Vorton than with humans.
Meredith Walker: Cross the uncanny valley?
Yolanda Yaltzer: Oh yar. So when we do computer generated people on screen there is always that little thing that makes them look off. It isn’t much but we can usually always tell- that’s not a fricken human yeah? But Vorton have much more simplistic facial features. They like are easier to render on screen and make look real. To then anyway.
Meredith Walker: So what led you to make that first film?
Yolanda Yaltzer: Well, I’d JUST dumped this guy, he was like a yoga instructor from San Diego, and he was super into Tantra, but like, not willing to BE in the moment. And so I was like ‘no way is it worth trying to get him to actualise his feelings’ so I’d dumped his ass and I went on this super big creative trip and so was all up in my desire to make something. So I used those animations and improved on them. Improved on them a LOT.
Meredith Walker: What inspired you to make a film with an all Vorton cast?
Yolanda Yaltzer: Like it was easy. I could use the template from the Mumbai animation and just adjusted it. Did a short film about two Vorton encountering an automated food vendor. You KNOW how fustrating those things are- you have to be SO precise. So I did this short film about two Vorton trying to get it to work.
Meredith Walker: Entirely computer generated?
Yolanda Yaltzer: Obviously. Its not like I could like ASK a Vorton to show up.
Meredith Walker: And the language barrier?
Yolanda Yaltzer: I used a standard translation matrix. Their language was pretty basic.
Meredith Walker: Professor- why was Miss Irwins animation accepted and the previous ones not?
Dr Li Huning: Miss Irwin’s short film was not mocking Vorton. If anything it mocked the weakness of human AI. It was satire on our technology. The Vorton came across as very realistic, disdainfully trying to work out how to fathom something even we humans had issues with.
Meredith Walker: Is this why you decided to show the Vorton delegation the film?
Dr Li Huning: Partly. Also we were desperate. We wanted to distract them. They were talking about a new quota. 186 million tonnes of hardwood. They were after the Indonesian rainforests. All the Indonesian rainforests. Everyone was trying to find a way for us to be ‘useful’ for them. Any idea was being considered. I saw a copy of Miss Yeltzer’s short film and decided to show it to them.
Meredith Walker: And their reaction?
Dr Li Huning: They enjoyed it.
Meredith Walker: The Exarch and his advisors?
Dr Li Huning: No, all of them. The entire species. The Vorton hive mind. Four watched it, 23 billion enjoyed it. They wanted more.
Yolanda Yaltzer: And hey presto- 2074, the Human Vorton Entertainment industry was born. You’re welcome humanity.
Meredith Walker: Which leads us to the question that many have asked over the years- why DO you think they enjoyed our movies so much?
Yolanda Yaltzer: Oh GAWD so many reasons. Partly it was like you know, we had been making films for SO long. Like Hollywood was SO good at it..
Dr Li Huning: The Vorton had never needed visual portrayals of themselves Ms Walker. They communicated with themselves instantly after all. So seeing themselves on a screen was a novelty for them.
Sir William Patterson: And our film industry was merely a continuation of a long tradition of story telling, humans have been creating stories for centuries, thousands of years, after all.
Yolanda Yaltzer: TOTALLY! I mean like we forget- we watch some Hollywood movie and are all like ‘its derivative and commercial’ blah blah. We forget like movies are just an extension of the human need to create narratives so as to find a sense of the freakin’ numinous. To get a small hit of what the Vorton got on a daily. Since the first ever dramatists, Kālidāsa in India, Aristophanes in Ancient Greece, narrative tales had been man’s attempt to create meaning.
Meredith Walker: Er...
Yolanda Yaltzer: Humans seek desperatly to connect with one another. That dude Huxley said we are all ‘island universes’ you know? Each consciousness profoundly trapped within our own minds, desperately seeking commonality of experience. It’s why we are drawn to fictional tales. We want to find a sense of empathy, of connection with one another. Movies and books and all our stories were like the Vorton hive mind. But basic you know. Like super basic. Yet even the most crude low budget film is an attempt to unite us as a species. Take porn.
Meredith Walker: Porn?
Yolanda Yaltzer: Oh yar. Perfect example. Everyone who clicks on porn? Bottom line their need is to see something that makes them go ‘I want that to be me’ or ‘I want to make that happen’ yar? So like porn is just like reading something weird like Lord of the Rings but without the need to imagine yourself with pointy ears.
Meredith Walker: I had not...
Yolanda Yaltzer: Ultimately, we had been making films and doing books, hell just telling stories for aeons and it was all a low-key attempt to replicate the advanced central intelligence and experiences of the Vorton. We humans are alone and through stories and narratives seek to create constructs that allow us unite as a species. So given we had been doing that for freakin CENTURIES it meant we had such a head start when it came to translating such ideas into a moving visual medium that we were easily able to adapt to facilitate complex, nuanced and sophistication empathic responses within an alien audience.
Meredith Walker: Well. I don’t think our viewers have ever heard such an explanation... Er...
Sir William Patterson: You know, despite how Yolanda is portrayed in the media, she does have an IQ of 163.
Dr Li Huning: Yes. She would have a doctorate now if she would only maintain her studies.
Yolanda Yaltzer: Please Doc. Academia is like super boring.
Meredith Walker: Moving on, Professor? So Yolanda’s theory that human films replicated Vorton hive thinking was the reason they liked them?
Dr Li Huning: Partly. There was also a fascination with moving images of them. Vorton had a mixed sense of self. They do not exist as individuals. They are Collective. So seeing a Vorton always meant knowing a Vorton. ‘They’ and ‘me’ are one. Until they saw images of Vorton on screen. These high resolution computer images looked like them highly accurately but they could not connect to them telepathically. It intrigued them. They would focus on the images with all their attention.
Sir William Patterson: And this is where language became crucial.
Meredith Walker: How so Sir William?
Sir William Patterson: The Vorton had never developed a native language. They had not needed to. Since the species evolution they had communicated telepathically. This had allowed them evolve into apex predators on their home world. Had facilitated their technological ascendency. They only created the spoken Vorton language to communicate with the dozen client Worlds they conquered. They invented language so as to talk to non telepaths.
Dr Li Huning: Yes and the language was, by their standards, simplistic and crude. After all, all other species were crude by their standards. Yet in this simplicity lay the potential for vast amounts of systemic resonance.
Meredith Walker: Systemic resonance?
Sir William Patterson: Consider it this way Meredith. Suppose I say the word ‘blue’ to you. What comes into your mind?
Meredith Walker: The colour blue.
Sir William Patterson: Right. But someone else may think automatically of the sky. Or the ocean. Or the wallpaper in their nursery.
Yolanda Yaltzer: Totally. It’s dependent upon the individual. Like I hear ‘blue’ and I think of the music of Robert Johnson and BB King and the blues...
Sir William Patterson: Someone may think of the uniforms of Union soldiers in the American civil war. Others will think of cold. Or sadness.
Dr Li Huning: A person from China would hear the word and think of wood or immortality or spring...
Yolanda Yaltzer: Exactly, or be like ‘oh GAWD that blue dress Shawna was wearing last week made her ass look SO fat’...
Sir William Patterson: But each link, each connection we can infer from the word is kept within our minds, these ‘island universes’ as Yolanda said.
Dr Li Huning: But the Vorton shared all these connections with one another in real time. You say blue to a Vorton and they would instantaneously have all these thoughts and connections at once, even divergent ones and be able to reconcile these divergent reactions all within moments.
Sir William Patterson: By using their simplistic language we could communicate vast amounts of meaning.
Yolanda Yaltzer: It made writing scripts SUPER easy you know? Who needs careful dialogue to show a growing attraction between two Vorton? Just have one say ‘Meal. Tomorrow. Together?’ and they would fill in the blanks with like a billion variations and ideas and so forth. Not that they understood romance.
Dr Li Huning: This was why for the next 12 years we humans provided films and entertainments for the Vortons. Which they rewarded with payments. Usually in the form of gold.
Meredith Walker: And the Vorton just accepted these films without reservations?
Yolanda Yaltzer: Have you SEEN the size of my mansion?
Dr Li Huning: There were suspicions at first. But Miss Yolanda and a few others could produce movies showing Vortons doing things and saying things which they would watch with utter fascination. Their collective minds would fill simplistic plot and narrative with vast amounts of context, subtext and culture detail we could never guess at. Our films entertained them. And we would make sure they fit within world views the Vorton approved. We earned trust and became useful.
Meredith Walker: And on that note we need a word from our sponsors. We will be right back...
(Cut to advertisements; upon return video segment of clips of films targeted at Vorton audiences between 2077 and 2087 including ‘Destemper’ (YoYoFilms 2078); ‘Encounter on Farjo’ (UniversalWarner 2080); ‘The Enral Connundrum’ (YoYoFilms 2083; Winner Best Visual Effects; Best Sound Editing Academy Awards) and ‘Isolation’ (YoYoFilms 2086; Winner Best Adapted Screenplay; Best Director; Best Film Academy Awards)
Meredith Walker: Isolation was your biggest hit wasn’t it?
Yolanda Yaltzer: Oh MY Gawd. They adored it. The story of one of their own cut off from the hive mind by mysterious alien tech and battling his way back to connect to his own people? They fricken LOVED that. So did the Academy Awards! But like I didn’t have to blow anyone to get liked by the Vortons!
Meredith Walker: Sir William when did the military become involved?
Sir William Patterson: We were monitoring the growth of the entertainment industry from the earliest days but we only seriously became involved in 2083.
Meredith Walker: And you led that involvement?
Sir William Patterson: Eventually, yes. I had developed a theory at the time that the film industry would be useful to us. British Intelligence put me in contact with someone in America and this was how I became involved in Yolanda’s productions.
Meredith Walker: And your first joint project?
Sir William Patterson: ‘Twen’.
(Cut to clip of the film ‘Twen’ (YoYoFilms 2087) The fictional account of the famed warleader of the Vorton species who led their first three subjugations; the clip shows the image of Twen stood before his Legions during the Battle of Nebebabn Station; the image of Twen turns to his soldiers and begins speaking- human subtitles reveal the dialogue; ‘Forward again. Forward siblings. Or neglect the dead. Before now, harmonious being was purpose. Now war. Reject briefly harmonious. Be like a feral Braan....’ clip ends)
Meredith Walker: The Vorton enjoyed Twen?
Yolanda Yaltzer: A fricken understatement lady!
Dr Li Huning: It wasn’t that they enjoyed it. It was that we made it knowing they were about to invade the Gasteibians. It was basically a war movie made just before they went to war. And it actually aided them.
Meredith Walker: Aided them?
Dr Li Huning: The Vorton Exarch informed us that the species watched Twen three times before the attack on Gasteibian. It drove them to a heightened almost fanatical sense of combat readiness. Indeed by all accounts they felt Twen helped them ruthlessly destroy all Gasteiban resistance.
Meredith Walker: And Sir William was involved in making Twen?
Yolanda Yaltzer: Are you kidding me? He wrote the damn script.
Meredith Walker: You wrote the script Admiral?
Sir William Patterson: Not really. Its Shakespeare. Henry V. ‘Once More onto the breach dear friends once more...’. Just simplified it to fit the Vorton language and allowed the words and images inspire their collective mind. They did the rest.
Meredith Walker: But Twen was what convinced your superiors about your theory?
Sir William Patterson: Convinced them? No. But my superiors took my idea to NATO high command and they submitted it to the U.N. Liason Committee.
Dr Li Huning: And I saw the merits in his idea. Yes. I approved the plan. Invited William and Miss Yaltzer to join me in Geneva.
Meredith Walker: And that was how you all started working together then?
Dr Li Huning: On the Werther project? Yes.
Meredith Walker: What made this special?
Yolanda Yaltzer: Well like firstly, the basic set up I gave them was TOTALLY killer. So the opening sequence was gonna be a magnatar crashing into a black hole and there is this massive disruption of spacetime but also at a quantum level and BOOM! The Vortons in our story suddenly found themselves unable to talk with their minds.
Dr Li Huning: The basis for the movie wasn’t scientifically accurate...
Yolanda Yaltzer: Oh PLEASE Doc. It was a disaster movie. No disaster movie is EVER scientifically accurate. It’s all about narrative. Disaster happens. Hero copes. Standard template. Blah blah. And cos we hadn’t like ever made a disaster movie for em before we could use like EVERY trope like cos they hadn’t seen the tropes before. It was ideal.
Meredith Walker: But there was more to the film than that?
Yolanda Yaltzer: Oh yar! That was where sailor boy came in. He insisted we base what followed on some old book.
Meredith Walker: Sir William?
Sir William Patterson: Yes it was imperative we use a novel called ‘The Sorrows of Young Werther’ by Johann Von Goethe. This is the book that established Von Goethe as one of the greats of German literature when it was published in 1774. I tried to tell Yolanda it was imperative we used this book as the basis of the story we were telling...
Yolanda Yaltzer: And I was like NO way. Like sure, I could see that we needed a narrative structure about individuals ‘Cos like all disaster movies do the big ‘arrrgghhhh im dying I’m dying’ routine but always make the story about basically boy meet girl and they get together while everything is blowing up, like ALL disaster movies you know, but this book? Oh GAWD!
Sir William Patterson: It’s one of the greats of European literature.
Yolanda Yaltzer: Its super boring Sailor Boy! Like the protagonist, Young Werther, he is SUCH a fricken Mary Sue. He is SO what the Goethe guy wanted to be. Super super intelligent and super super sensitive. Oh so goddamn sensitive. Like BARF!
Sir William Patterson: The book was chosen for a reason Yolanda...
Meredith Walker: Rumour has it, it was you who solved the creative arguments Dr Li?
Dr Li Huning: Yes. I saw the dilemma- where had two vehicles designed to tell two very differing stories. On the one hand Miss Yeltzer’s desire to use a disaster movie, which we could see would work at providing an exciting narrative structure. But on the other hand we had Williams need to use the novel by Goethe. Which we needed, to fit within his overall plan. At the same time I also saw a need to include narrative elements showing the Vorton coping with their loss of telepathic abilities and wanted images showing them coming together to overcome this as a way of reinforcing Vorton belief systems.
Meredith Walker: So how did you solve these conflicting ideas Dr Li?
Dr Li Huning: I suggested we scrap making a film and turn it into a mini series.
Yolanda Yaltzer: A freakin MINI SERIES. Screw Hollywood- do Netflix. It was great. We could take our time, work in somehow all we wanted.
Meredith Walker: And the Vorton enjoyed it?
Dr Li Huning: They could not get enough of it. The series introduced concepts they had never encountered before. Ideas they had never conceptualised. They would spend days engaged in complex debates based upon the themes we raised. And for the Vorton? Debates that last that long were unprecedented.
Meredith Walker: And they didn’t suspect any ulterior purpose?
Dr Li Huning: They saw us react truthfully. They would invite myself and Miss Yeltzer to their mothercraft in orbit above Earth to answer questions directly from their exarch after each episode on behalf of their species.
Yolanda Yaltzer: It was like a SUPER intense Q and A. Sailor boy came along with us as our bodyguard each time.
Dr Li Huning: And we appeared as what we were. Humans eager to entertain them and engage them.
Meredith Walker: Did you know the show would have the effect it did?
Dr Li Huning: Of course the possibility had been raised by Sir William.
Sir William Patterson: I didn’t KNOW at all. There was a small chance it could happen. That was all.
Meredith Walker: So what was it about that book that made it so important? Its a classic of literature as you said Sir William...
Yolanda Yaltzer: Oh please. Its a crap book. Don’t look at me like that sailor boy. It is. The Sorrows of Young Werther. Gimme a break. It’s all boring exposition. And the central story? So you have this guy Werther and he falls for this hottie but he never says anything cos he is as wet as it comes. And the hottie gets together with this older gentlemen- which is creepy but there it is. And Werther is always hanging around the couple in a super cringe way to ‘win her back’ or some crap like that.
Sir William Patterson: There is a little more to it than that Yolander...
Yolanda Yaltzer: Really? Where? Its insipid. He realises that the chicks Sugar Daddy? He’s ok. The girl he loves? She’s happy. So guess what? He decides it’s in everyone’s best interest to...kill himself.
Sir William Patterson: Seriously, there is a lot more to it, it was part of the Strum und Drang poetic movement and...
Yolanda Yaltzer: What a TOTAL incel! I mean Jebus! But guess what? Uber Incel can’t even kill himself right. He puts some old pistol to his head, pulls the trigger but doesn’t die. So lies there, like his brain’s bleeding out and it’s all woe is me and afterwards this girl and her Sugar Daddy are all sad...
Sir William Patterson: Honestly, it...
Dr Li Huning: There is a degree of accuracy here Sir William.
Yolanda Yaltzer: Thank you Doc. Anyway there THEN follows this huge over the top reaction apparently. Young men all over fricken Europe read this book and start dressing as this character. Like a whole new fashion craze all based on this Werther Incel Guy. Let’s face it- Goethe invented fanboys!
Sir William Patterson: Goethe did NOT invent fanboys.
Dr Li Huning: It could be argued that ‘Werther Fever’ was the first manifestation of what is today called ‘fangirl syndrome’ yes.
Yolanda Yaltzer: ANYWAY- that’s what we had to work into our disaster flick. That! How the hell do we work in that?
Meredith Walker: But you all clearly did?
Dr Li Huning: We were able to harmonise the themes in the novel into conventions the Vorton’s could conceptualise. Human romanticism became Vorton desires for unity; connotations of desire were made into a longing to be re-connect as a species; crucially we showed the Vortons they were not weakened by this horrendous situation but retained agency. It was important they became invested in the story.
Meredith Walker: Because of the Werther Fever Effect?
Dr Li Huning: Because of that, yes.
Meredith Walker: Sir William, you insisted upon the story being used because you of this after effect. Did you hope somehow using the book by Goethe that the Vorton’s would change their minds about us. Sway our conquerors with a good story?
Dr Li Huning: The original made Napoleon a huge fan I have noticed.
Sir William Patterson: Well not quite. Werther Fever erupted across Europe as translations of the novel came out, as Yolanda described, but there was an additional side effect to this. Across Europe there began a series of copycat suicides as these impressionable young men would emulate their hero...
Meredith Walker: So the book inspired suicide?
Sir William Patterson: Not quite. The link between the novel and the spate of suicides that erupted across Europe is still hotly debated within academic circles...
Yolanda Yaltzer: There was a fricken wave of 18th century Incel fanboys blowing their brains out after reading this book I swear!
Sir William Patterson: I felt that perhaps this effect could be replicated to a degree; given the complexity of Vorton psychology, I didn’t expect a simple replication of the impact upon 18th century readers but that was the gist of the plan. I simply weaponised our ability to tell stories.
Meredith Walker: And Professor the hope within the liason committee was that this miniseries would cause some suicides amidst the Vorton race?
Dr Li Huning: No. Given they had once said we humans were but a millionth of them, we earnestly hoped for a much stronger reaction. And we all know the results.
Meredith Walker: The entire Vorton species.
Dr Li Huning: Every last one of them. We imagine it was a cascade effect. The climax of the series, the Vorton version of Werther discovering that the race had lost its telepathic abilities forever and that his furious determination to regain this skill was in fact holding back his species from evolving to maintain their position as dominant was crucial. They had to see him rationalise that he was hurting the species by his continued existence
Sir William Patterson: The aim was to introduce the very human idea of noble sacrifice to the Vorton... you know ‘it’s a Far far better thing that I do now...’
Yolanda Yaltzer: BUT punch it home with a 28 hour lead up designed to get the entire race to identify with one fricken over-sensitive milkbaby. The results? Splat!
Meredith Walker: Splat?
Dr Li Huning: Quantum biological effect. Autopsies reveal the Vorton suffered cerebral implosions as we imagine a cascade effect of the desire to self destruct took over.
Meredith Walker: They willed themselves to death?
Yolanda Yaltzer: Hey- you ever stood on the edge of a drop and gazed down and had that brief urge to just like jump!? Imagine that but that urge amplified by 23 billion people, your entire species thinking it at the exact same time and now imagine just how powerful that urge would become. Splat!
Meredith Walker: None of you seem bothered by the fact you annihilated an entire species?
Yolanda Yaltzer: They had wanted to wipe out the Orangutans. I’d take Orangutans over the aliens who screwed Canada any time.
Dr Li Huning: Ultimately it was about survival. Either we destroyed them or we remained slaves. I have no issue with that.
Sir William Patterson: They were the enemy. And this was the only weapon we could use. We won. They lost. Its war.
Meredith Walker: And Admiral you were able to take control of their ship instantly?
Sir William Patterson: We had spent 18 months carefully studying how they piloted their ships and in the weeks during the serialisation of the show I had familerised myself with the controls yes.
Meredith Walker: Now there are some who feel that there was a degree of calculation in what came next...
Sir William Patterson: The entire Vorton Ascendency was gone. The species was no more. But the 13 subservient planets didn’t know we had just wiped them out. What followed was a strategic decision.
Dr Li Huning: Presidents Lu of China, McKindrick of the United States, and Prime Ministers of Israel, Great Britain, Japan and Indonesia all agree upon us travelling to the Vorton homeworld and taking control of its resources.
Yolanda Yaltzer: I am SO gonna turn that trip into a film...
Dr Li Huning: Miss Yaltzer, much of the operation and the aftermath is still classified...
Yolanda Yaltzer: Doc, PLEASE! Like anyone needs accuracy to make a good movie... of course I’d need to make me and sailor boy have a romance to make it work...
Sir William Patterson: A romance Yolanda? Well I hardly think...
Yolanda Yaltzer: Hey sailor boy. Chill. Its a movie not real life. We both agreed on the way back to remain as sex buddies...
Meredith Walker: And coming up- the new Human Space Empire; one year on- are we ready to rule the galaxy? I’d like to thank my guests for their time...
(Transcripts end)
I could tear open my bosom with vexation to think how little we are capable of influencing the feelings of each other
No one can communicate to me those sensations of love, joy, rapture, and delight which I do not naturally possess; and though my heart may glow with the most lively affection, I cannot make the happiness of one in whom the same warmth is not inherent
The Sorrows of Young Werther by Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

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David was ecstatic, giddy, excited and every other word synonymous with those. He had a brand new ship! He inhaled deeply, taking in that new ship smell. The airlock pressurized and allowed them to proceed further inside.
If he thought the air lock had the new ship smell, he was practically overwhelmed by it in the main portion. Everything was clean, shiny, and sleek, he almost felt like it would be a sin to step inside but his excitement outweighed the feeling by far. Doing a power walk he proceeded into the ship eager to see just how everything looked in person.
He came upon the storage rooms first and figured he should make a stop to collect some of the personal items currently in there. It was a fairly plain room as he expected, just a large cube of new metal with a couple of crates and boxes laying around. David went over to where he spotted the gun cases and checked them. The larger, almost guitar like case held his new railgun and when he opened one of the smaller cases he found his pistol there. He managed to fit the cases into his grip along with the rest of his luggage and told Sky to get the left over case that had his gun inside.
Solomon perked up a bit, "You got him a gun?"
"Yeah, if he's going to be coming with me for a while he will need one, just in case."
"I hope you taught him how to use it at the least."
"Of course, I'm not going to give a gun to someone who doesn't at least know how to handle it, that's just asking for accidents to happen."
Solomon seemed content after that and they went to see the rest of the ship. With arms currently full David decided to check out the rooms first, the ship could comfortably house six, but was capable of transporting far more than that should the need arise. They came to the hallway that contained all the rooms and David directed the pair on where to go.
"Ok, if I remember correctly, I think your room is the first one on the right Sky, It should be designed for you. Solomon, I don't think you'll be on board for that long but feel free to choose a room as well." Sky moved to his room, Solomon decided to check out the middle room on the left side, and David moved to the room right across the way from Sky's.
The room was very modern in design, David was happy that they managed to get the wood inlay that he requested for the walls. The bed was queen sized, neatly made, and he felt sleepy just looking at it. There was an entertainment system imbedded into the wall across from the bed and a few pieces of furniture like dressers and nightstands.
David dropped all his stuff by the foot of the bed then flopped onto it's surface. Oh my god it's soft. He huffed the bed sheets savoring the clean scent that they had and sighed blissfully. He probably would have attempted to sleep right there if he didn't want to see the rest of his ship and get them moving. He slid off his bed and grabbed the case that held his new gun. He examined it to make sure everything was working correctly, loaded the gun and a few mags, then slipped them into his holster before proceeding out the door.
Solomon was waiting in the hall but Sky was apparently still in his room. David went up to the door and knocked. "Hey Sky, we're going to check out the rest of the ship, are you coming?" David heard the sound of clicking footsteps rush to the door before it slid open.
"Sorry, I was trying to figure out how things work."
David waved off his apology. "Don't worry about it, I'll show you later. Right now, let's tour the rest of the ship." Sky nodded and the trio left to see what the ship had to offer. They found the kitchen close by, though it was closer in size to a large living room than anything else. The appliances took up about a fourth of the room and were quite impressive to look at. There were two large tables that took up a lot of space and could fit upwards of a dozen people. David considered all the things that he would be able to make now that he had a fully loaded kitchen on board. He was excited for dinner so he could test all this to its fullest extent.
They found the lounge next. David noticed that it did come with it's own bar, which was a nice feature but he would have to stock it first. The room was two tiered, with the upper bar area descending into the entertainment area. A large semi-circle couch, that was flush with the bar level, was the center piece of the room with stairs on either side of it. A very nice coffee table was present inside the semi-circle and a massive entertainment system with VR hookup was across from it. The lounge chairs in the bar area all looked extremely comfortable and David couldn't wait to sit down with a nice drink one of these days.
The gym was located near the lounge. There was a lot of the typical things you would find inside of one, dumbbells, treadmill, a few weight machines. The only thing out of the ordinary was an elevated platform that had no really indication of what it was. David went to inspect it quickly and found a console on one side which he powered up. The power on greeting answered his question as to what it was, a gravity machine. You can locally manipulate the amount of gravity in the area of the platform in order to get a more intense work out if you so desire, it had safety limits, but was still useful. Curiosity sated, they continued on.
They passed by the engine room with a quick look inside at the impressive array of pipes, lights, and the glowing reactor that was humming away. The fabricator was the next discovery. It had it's own little room in a corner of the ship but was still a fairly large machine. Like an advanced 3D printer, it could create objects and tools so long as it had the correct material stored, and David made sure he wouldn't be running out of any material any time soon.
Last room of any note was the cockpit. Four very nice padded seats comprised the cockpit, two in the front for pilot and copilot, one on the back left that looked like navigational controls, and one on the back right that controlled shields and weapons. David smiled and rubbed his hands together in anticipation as he jumped into the pilot seat, which was very comfortable. There were a lot more controls available than what he was used to. He looked over all the new features at his disposal and came to the conclusion that he had the ability to slave any controls and functions of the ship to himself at any point, the other seats were for relieving stress on himself or the AI. Speaking of the AI, he thought that maybe he should think of a name for it as well.
"Alright, lets get this show on the road then. Take a seat everyone. Hey AI, can you get us clearance to launch?"
"Sending requests now captain." David powered up the ship with a few flipped switches that caused his command console to light up and a hum to be heard through the ship. "Clearance received, marking exit trajectory." A holographic display appeared on the front view port marking the exact path to take.
Damn I love this ship. Hands on the controls he throttled up until the ship left the ground. Retracting the landing gear he pushed forward, smoothly propelling them out of the hanger and into the void of space. "Alright, path a route to the stations jump gate."
"Yes captain." The display morphed and showed a new curved path. Following the display led around the station and eventually their destination came into view. A massive metal ring floated in the weightlessness of space with a line of ships slowly proceeding through it. Every couple of seconds an arch of energy would fire from the rings edge to its center followed by a flash of light that would cause a ship to disappear. David piloted the ship to the back of the line and matched velocity of the ship ahead of him.
"Buckle up everyone, jump gates are a bit rougher than FTL." Several seatbelt clicks rang out from the cockpit as David input coordinates for the jump into his console. He looked over at Sky who was decidedly nervous about the whole jump thing. "It'll be alright Sky, these things are perfectly safe. Just keep your head back against the seat. When we jump it will feel like we are accelerating very fast and press you into the seat. Try to relax your body as much as possible." Sky took a few deep breaths to calm himself but he still was not very relaxed.
Their turn was coming up, the ship in front of them was hit with a bolt of energy and blinding light then was gone. Sky was definitely not taking to it very well as he was wide eyed and digging in to the seat. They were in position, coordinates input, and then they got hit with the energy. Approximately three Gs of force pressed onto them as they slipped through the fabric of space at impossible speeds. All they saw was black as not even light could reach them at this velocity. The sensation lasted maybe three seconds before they came out with a jarring deceleration.
Sky looked woozy but still in one piece, Solomon shook himself a little bit before straightening again. David looked at the information on his console to make sure everything had gone according to plan. Readings from surrounding area confirmed that they did indeed make it to Orion Station and David set about turning them towards said station.
Far smaller than Kallengos, but still quite large, the stations design opted for a more cylindrical shape, which helped with its primary function of producing large ships en masse. A few of those ships were currently positioned around the station. Destroyers and leviathans were moving about, possibly as test flights to make sure everything was working. The one ship David was mostly interested in however was the planet cracker that was positioned on the perimeter of the station.
This class of ship was a human brain child as it didn't exist until after humanity came into the galactic scene. It lived up to its classification as the armaments it possessed could annihilate an unprotected world by itself. Watching test fire recordings that were conducted on dead planets was something to behold as literal chunks of the planet would be removed with each volley of its weaponry.
David transmitted his request for landing clearance and was granted it after a minute. Following directions to the designated hanger he deployed the landing gear, and with what was possibly his smoothest landing to date thanks to the fantastic hydraulics, touched down in the hanger. David release an appeased sigh and rubbed the console of the ship a little in satisfaction at the performance.
Everyone unbuckled and got up to exit the ship. Sky was a bit wobbly on his feet at first but found his space legs again after a moment. Walking down the hallways David came to the realization that Solomon would soon leave the group and was starting to feel a bit depressed at the notion. He had made fast friends with him and then parted just as quickly. He resolved himself to visit whenever he had free time.
"So this is it then huh? New station, new job, new start. This time try not to get abducted, can't go chasing all over the universe after you."
Solomon did his version of a chuckle. "I don't think I'm in any danger of that anymore when this station literally produces machines of war to keep those kinds of people away."
"Still, keep those tentacles out of trouble while I'm away."
"Yes, mom." He said sarcastically. David got a good chuckle out of that retort, maybe Solomon had spent too much time around humans for his own good. They made it to the airlock again and the doors closed around them.
"I'll stick around for a few hours in case something goes south and you need another lift out of here."
"I appreciate it, take care of yourself, I don't want the next time we meet to be meeting you in pieces." He turned towards Sky. "Make sure the stupid monkey doesn't do anything crazy would you?" Sky smiled a bit at that and nodded.
Traitor, and you are asking for it Solomon. "Yeah, and you make sure no one turns you into calamari there Squidward."
Solomon tilted his head slightly. "I do not get the reference, but I can tell you are pleased with your counter, so I take mild offense."
David laughed heartily and then offered a hand to Solomon. "Till next we meet then."
Solomon wrapped a manipulator around his hand and shook. "Safe travels to the both of you." Disconnecting from the handshake he did a respectful bow which David returned. The exit door slid open to let Solomon out and he proceeded down the ramp before the door closed again. David let out a sad sigh at the absence of his friend. turning away from the door he went back into the ship with Sky following.
Heading back to the rooms he addressed Sky. "Well it's as good a time as any to show you how to use the equipment in your room. Point out anything you don't understand and I'll show you how to work it." Sky nodded and went into his room with David following this time. Sky's room was similar in design to his, but a noticeable difference was that everything was smaller and the bed was replaced with a padded perch.
"What is this?" he had pointed to the entertainment system in the wall. David explained it's use in watching shows and movies as well as how to work the controls to navigate through said mediums. Sky looked at the system with wonder as he tested it, getting a view of a far away planet that was part of a documentary.
Sky peeled himself away from the screen and went into the bathroom where he pointed to the shower. "How do I use this?" It was a fairly advanced shower all things considered so David gave him the benefit of the doubt. He showed him how to select which shower head the water came out of, how to set the temperature, pressure and type of spray, as well as what he needed to do if he wanted to take a bath instead.
Sky sat with his mouth agape for a moment before speaking again. "I can use warm water?" Of all the things to be surprised about, that was the last one David expected.
"Umm, yeah, you can use hot water if you really wanted to. Out of curiosity, how did you normally shower?"
"We were allowed to use the shower once a week, and it was just a pipe with a valve that sprayed cold water."
David sighed to himself. The more I learn the less I want to know. The conditions Sky lived his life in were truly horrendous, he was only glad that he could now give Sky something good in return for all the horrible things he suffered through. "Well you can use this shower whenever you need to, at any temperature you find comfortable." Sky was beaming at the thought.
After a second he turned and pointed to the other side of the room. "What's that one then?" David looked over and there was an instalment similar to the shower but not quite it.
David cocked his head a little bit. "To be honest I'm not a hundred percent sure. Lets find out shall we." He went over to the glass enclosure and saw vents of some kind spread all around inside. There were controls on the wall within, he opened the glass door and reached to press what looked like the power button. He was almost immediately hit with a stream of warm air as the vents created something akin to a wind tunnel.
"Oh, it's a giant hair dryer, or in this case feather dryer. You can use this to dry off when you get out of the shower." Sky looked in awe at the machine as it whirled the air inside around. David hit the power button again to turn it off. "So, is there anything else you want to know?"
Sky shook his head. "No, I think that's it."
David gave a nod. "Alright then, now that I think about it, I should probably take a shower myself before I start stinking the whole ship up."
Sky looked at the shower again. "That does sound nice."
"I'll see you after then." He left the room for his own and fished out some of his soaps from the bags. He stripped down and went into the shower turning on the hot water at a decent pressure from multiple angles. This is heaven. The water washed all his grime and sweat away leaving him feeling born again. The soap was lathered all over him without regard to quantity used as he scrubbed his crooks and crevices that were in desperate need of cleaning. He took a longer than normal shower, mostly just enjoying the water, but eventually he got out and dried off with one of his new towels.
freshly washed he decided to shave to complete the triumvirate of being showered, shaved, and freshly clothed. Smooth faced and looking like a million credits, which he may actually have now that he thought about it, he went to the bedroom and laid down on the bed again. He was exhausted and extremely relaxed but couldn't sleep at the moment because he needed to keep an eye out for Solomon and then get ready to fulfill his first promise to Sky. With a sigh he managed to push himself to a sitting position. Grabbing his clothes he got dressed again and went to kill a little time. Maybe it's time to show Sky VR.
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Like always let me know what you think down below and of anything that could improve my writing.

Entry 17: Subject I [Skk/Yuubari/?]
(Also readable here. The whole thing can be found here.)
It had been a job and a half to find this place.
Even before Azur Lane was established, there were other facilities working on the Siren problem and the technology they introduced into the world. And there was one which the commander was especially keen on finding. After going through numerous reports of transmissions, logistics manifests, and other key pieces of a long and arduous paper trail, he had finally found it.
Sector A-14.
He left with only a few other ships- Bismarck, Glorious, Yuubari, and Kashino to find that place, along with a group of fast transport ships.
It was on a remote island, and it took them some time to figure out what might even look like an entrance, mainly complicated by the fact that the place had been abandoned for many years. But he had some idea about how these fortified island bases worked, so he was able to narrow down where such entrances might be. Once he found the heavily armored door, he waited for Yuubari to figure out how to crack it open without having to blast through. Explosive force was not an option.
This was not a combat mission.
After using his clearance, the door opened, and fresh air rushed into the base for the first time in who knew how long. All they could see in front of them was a great, dark hallway with a few ominous blinking lights, daring them to plumb the installation's depths.
Bismarck hmmed. "There's still power, after all this time?
The commander nodded. "Yeah. This base was basically made to withstand a failure of civilization- it could operate on its own for many decades. In theory, anyway." He flipped on a lever, turning on the hallway lights, providing them a path to follow.
Yuubari looked in. "Commander, you told us this was a research base... For what, exactly?"
"All kinds of things- wild, experimental stuff, originally, but it was also the first place where serious research was done on the wisdom cubes." He began to walk in. "All right, let's go in and have a look."
The long, sterile, metal hallway only led them to what appeared to be a large freight elevator- the five of them entered, and it the commander pushed a button, causing the elevator to begin an uncomfortably long and dark descent. Bismarck had questions. "So, why was this place abandoned, anyway?"
He sighed. "Work on the cubes began here before we knew that there were human-type sirens, so we thought this was secure. But the place was infiltrated. One of them got in, and basically just pranked the people her by letting them know that the Sirens were always watching.
Glorious blinked. "Wow. Do we know who it was?"
The commander shrugged. "We don't have any hard proof, but think about who we know that would infiltrate a secure installation just to say 'boo'."
Bismarck's eyes narrowed. "Observer."
The commander stretched. "That's my guess, too. anyway, this place was abandoned in a hurry, so a lot of stuff was probably left behind. they may have discovered things that we haven't, so anything that stops us from having to re-invent the wheel will make this time well-spent."
After an uncomfortably long trip down, they emerged from the elevator. The commander had only the most vague idea of how a place like this was ventilated, but the presence of visitors seemed to have kicked things into gear. They passed by long-abandoned security checkpoints which held discarded magazines and stained coffee mugs that had been cast aside in the haste to pick up and leave. In their haste, some of the facility maps had been left behind, and the signage was still intact.
After some time, the five of them managed to get into the command center. Seeing as there were no guards to stop them, there was nothing to keep Bismarck from just pulling the door open. The commander and Yuubari got started on restoring full power to the rest of the complex. "Commander, you don't seem worried about any danger."
He started working on the instrument panels- the fact that the facility accepted his clearance was troubling, but something to worry about later. "While they were working on Wisdom Cubes, everyone who was here packed their bags and ran- I'm certain we won't encounter anyone else here. Shambling mutants were not this place's business."
Kashino looked quite troubled- being in such a place was a new experience. Bismarck noticed this, and put an arm around her shoulders to calm her down.
After a very careful hour spent in there, the commander needed to pause. Though he was mostly sure that hauntings weren't a thing, the sight of all of those empty stations combined with the silence meant that there was just something unsettling about this place, so he anchored himself by giving orders. "All right... this place has a functioning intercom system, so we can still communicate here even if our phones don't work this deep underground. Kashino, you and Bismarck check the cargo block, while Yuubari and Glorious search the research bay. I'll be up here trying to sort through the old logs. Call me up either here or in the commander's office if you find anything. We're going to limit our search to these areas- if we have to stay here overnight, we will, but I'd rather not."
Glorious smiled. "Oh, is the commander afraid of the dark?"
He shook his head. "I'd rather just not stay here. It's nothing specific, just general willies from being inside a vast and empty place without either the sun or the moon. It feels like a tomb in here."
Yuubari flicked an ear. "Still, it's going to be exciting to see what's buried here. Come on, Glorious, we have a lot of work to do."
"Fine~" Then the two of them left.
Bismarck kept an arm around Kashino. "...We should go, too. The commander has his own work to do."
Kashino nodded. "...You think things will be all right?"
Bismarck nodded. "This time, I will not fail."
And then they left as well.
The commander was left alone in the command center. Judging from the maps, the commander's office shouldn't be far, so he decided to go there, first, to see if there were any essential dispatches left behind.
The base commander's office room was as stark and utilitarian as could be- it far more resembled the captain's room on a warship than it did his own cozy, home-like office back at the port, what with the metal walls, and the fact that the commander's bed was also in the room. Here, he was left alone with his own thoughts and the occasional distant, muffled groans of the structure of the installation, a small reminder that even though the base was built solid, it wouldn't last forever. one of the things that moved him to action was that he wanted to spend as little time as possible down here.
Using some of the tools he found in the main command center, he worked to pry open and otherwise break into the cabinets in the commander's office, and he found that there were many folders and binders still present on various subjects. Some of these were essential manifests which were incomplete as some effort had been taken to destroy part of the records. there were a number of references to "Equipment for Subject I" and "Containment for Subject I". Aside from that, there was nothing intriguing there.
He also managed to find a set of essential dispatches from the research department as well, but those had been similarly compromised, and it felt like he was getting pieces of a jigsaw puzzle when he didn't know what the picture was supposed to be. Still, there were a number of statements that drew his attention.
"Expenditure of 20 cubes without result."
"Expenditure of 10 cubes plus supplemental power and resources without result."
"Cube expenditure attempts destroyed focusing pylons A and F- replacement under way."
There were dozens of statements like this, covering years of experiments with the cubes, and then he found the one that stood out.
"Expenditure of 30 cubes plus supplemental catalysts G and S with additional power has produced a stable and active result, designated Subject I."
As he spread out all of these papers in front of him, he heard something on the intercom. It was Bismarck, calling him at just the right time to distract him from his own thoughts. "Commander, we are now in the cargo sector- Kashino is easily opening up the containers here."
That was good news. "How many containers are down there?"
There was a delay. "Not a small number, commander, you see-"
He heard Kashino's voice. "Bismarck, you have to take a look at this!"
Bismarck spoke up. "Hold on, commander."
There was an uncomfortable silence, and then there was some indistinguishable chatter. In time Bismarck spoke up. "All right Kashino, tell the commander what you found."
"Commander!" Then there was a pause. "...There's rigging down here?"
Now, that got his attention. "What kind? For what kind of ship?"
She spoke back immediately. "I don't know, probably a battleship or battlecruiser, though- the heavy guns are bigger than Nagato's!"
He spoke back. "All right, mark those containers, and also those that contain extra parts for that rigging. Everything else is your discretion. Commander out."
Combined with the research reports that he had already read, he had a clear picture- through some powerful brute-force effort, they may have managed to create a ship. But that added even scarier questions. Was that ship still here? Would she still be alive if she was? And if she wasn't here, then where was she?
The commander went to pry open the drawers of the desk back in the office. He found a journal of the commanding officer of the installation. It was written in a very terse but illuminating manner- whoever was in command of Sector A-14 knew how to get a lot across in as few words as possible. It would have made him smile, under different circumstances- long-winded superiors were the bane of his existence at the academy.
However, there weren't many references to Subject I in there- that seemed to be a matter left to the research department. However, there wasn't any mention of this subject escaping or anything of the sort. Partway through, however, he received a message from Yuubari.
"Commander, this is Yuubari."
The commander got back on his feet. "Got anything?"
"Yeah... While they destroyed some things, there are still a lot of research notes down here- it'll take some time to bring all of this stuff up, but it's things I'll want to take a look at back at the base. That's all for now."
"I see. Commander out."
He went back through the journal. There were plenty of mentions of other events, but almost nothing on Subject I. He even mentioned the impending evacuation, cursing that what was the most secure facility on the planet was so easily infiltrated, even somewhat despairing of humanity's chances against the invaders.
But then, he got another call from Yuubari.
"Commander... this is Yuubari. You... you should come down here and see this. Get the others, too."
The commander went to the main command room and started trying every intercom channel to the cargo area until he finally got a response. "This is Bismarck."
The commander wasn't about to waste time. "We're all going to the research bay to meet Yuubari. Get Kashino and go there, all ahead full. Commander out."
The commander was left with many questions about this "Subject I", and making his way down from the command center didn't banish his worries. During that long walk through the abandoned complex, he was left alone with his own thoughts, which, to put it mildly, were not always good company when faced with these sorts of uncertainties. The most he could hope for is that she would be alive and sane. Anything beyond that was up for negotiation.
He was at least glad to be heading towards the company of other ships.
The commander made it down into the research bay, which showed all the same signs of hurried evacuation- little bits of equipment and papers were scattered here and there across the experiment tables and work stations, and he was assaulted with the occasional whiff of some unknown substance- the fact that the place had been sealed off mean that some of the scents of unwashed lab tools and the ashen musk of burned-out wisdom cubes still lingered.
"Commander!"
The commander rushed to the sound of Yuubari's voice, and he was soon joined by Bismarck and Kashino, and then the joined Yuubari and Glorious to see what they had found.
The five of them stood in silence, just taking in what they saw in that vault.
The room in question seemed to be dedicated to one purpose and one alone. There was what looked like a large, black metal coffin, hooked up to a number of thick power cables and a bewildering array of monitoring equipment. Each terminal displayed an absurd amount of information concerning the vital statistics of whatever was in there, though he had no idea how to read any of them. the plate, however, told him all he needed to know.
"SUBJECT I"
The commander looked to Yuubari. "So... What is this?"
"It's a stasis unit. It may seem strange for this place to have one, but pursuing one scientific goal may require a great number of tangential inventions."
Bismarck had a look. "Then there's the next question. What's inside?"
Yuubari had a good look at the monitors. "It's not a what, but a who. Vestal will have to take a more thorough look at this herself, but there's definitely some kind of person in there, and they're most likely still alive."
The commander filled in the blanks. "...There's a ship in there."
Glorious blinked. "...Excuse me?"
"They made a ship down here..." He put his hand on the black coffin. "...But not the way we do it. They just threw dozens of cubes and other materials into just... brute-forcing a ship into being. They may have been trying to create one of the ships that never was. and by some miracle, they succeeded in bringing something into being." He closed his eyes. "She's been down here a long time... Well before I had ever even thought of joining the navy..."
There was a silence, and Kashino spoke up. "Well... Maybe we could wake her up?"
Yuubari spoke up. "As much as I'd like to, none of us here has the expertise to do so safely- we need Vestal for that. We're going to have to transport our sleeping beauty here back to base fi we want to do anything."
Glorious giggled. "Maybe the commander could wake her with a kiss?"
That snapped the commander out of his trance. "I prefer them to be aware and consenting."
Bismarck spoke up. "There is a possible danger- we have no idea what state she'll be in when she wakes up. If she's merely asleep, she will be fine, but if she has been both trapped and aware for all these long years..."
The commander understood. "Yeah, I'll make Seattle, Ibuki, and Saint Louis available in case she needs to be subdued." He straightened his cap. "...But there's no question. We're bringing her home, and I will take full responsibility for whatever happens."
The commander gave that high-tech "black coffin" one more long, lingering look, wondering just exactly he had asked to be brought into the middle of his command.
-------------------
On the way back, the commander had time to figure out what happened based on what he plundered from the Sector commander's office. Apparently she was sedated and put in stasis not long after being awakened, and it was only a matter of months after that when the base was abandoned. He had a few days to think about this, as well as that black coffin that had been hooked up to generators, plural, for transport.
In addition to that, they secured that rigging and some other materials- best not to leave behind anything they could use, and Yuubari looted a vast store of research notes that she was going to comb through with Akashi, probably as soon as they got back to base. He had a few days to think about their find.
He was glad to be back home, and a great many eyes fell on the black coffin that was carefully unloaded by Kashino and then immediately sent to the repair ward. He ordered the security detail that he had promised, and set Vestal on the task of figuring out how to awaken whoever was inside. Aside from that, he was hands-off on the whole affair- the point was to find things that his people could make use of. Besides, it might take time for Vestal to figure out what to do with their guest, and he didn't want to disturb her.
However, some days later, he eventually got a call in the wee hours. It was Vestal.
Before he could even say anything, she immediately spoke up. "Commander, we've managed to warm her up- our sleeping princess will be waking up soon."
He turned off the phone and got dressed immediately, making his way to the repair ward.
Vestal had actually dedicated one of the larger rooms to containing the Black Coffin, as it was now officially called, and he arrived, making sure his cap was on perfectly straight- even at this hour, and officer was supposed to put on his best face. He had to avoid dripping over the octopus of power lines that littered the floor as he approached the ship's new resting place. Vestal saluted. "She's moving around in there, commander... I think we can open it up. On your order, of course."
He took a deep breath. "...Proceed."
Vestal put in a few commands into one of the terminals, and the thick, heavy cover split open lengthwise, opening up both ways. the commander heard sharp, heavy breathing as whoever it was inside had to deal with the first truly fresh air she'd had in quite a long while, but he didn't get a good look at who was inside until she stepped out of her years-long bed and began to just immediately do stretches.
The tall woman wore a long, blue navy coat, which was left unbuttoned and open. Under that, she wore a black vest over a white button-down shirt. There was a pocketwatch in one of the vest pockets, attached to the vest by a gold chain. She wore an adventurously short pleated skirt with thigh-high dark stockings, a seemingly common sort of combination for Royal capital ships, and a pair of black shoes. On her left hand, she wore a ring that had a miniature sundial. She sported the long, blonde hair that was common to Royal and Union ships, and had also accessorized that with a miniature bridge tower in the manner of Royal Battlecruisers like Renown and Repulse. She had green eyes, and also the generous proportions on par with Hood.
He decided to let her dictate her own pace, and she finished off her routine by stopping to wind her pocketwatch. She only noticed the commander after she did that. "Hmmm...? So, where am I...?"
The commander stepped in. "Good evening. This is the combined strategic naval headquarters of the international combined naval peacekeeping force known as Azur Lane. I am the commander of this base and its total forces."
She leaned over a bit to have a closer look. "Commander...?" She needed a minute to take stock of him. "Seems rather young..." But then she had a big, broad smile, and stood up straight. "Not that it means anything. the only thing that matters on the ocean your ability- if you're a blowhard on land but go to pieces at sea, then you're no use anyways. I wonder which you are...?"
He maintained composure. This was pretty common. "I guess you'll just have to find out for yourself. May I have your name?"
She saluted. "I'm HMS Incomparable, Royal Navy! If you're a skilled commander, then I'll be a most able ship."
She was one of the ships that never was. How did they make her on accident? "That's going to be something we can settle later. I'd like you to get some rest and have Vestal here give you a checkup- I'll introduce you to the rest of the royal navy contingent in the morning. There will probably be some people you recognize there."
She blinked. "Oh, are Invincible and Indomitable around?"
Oof. "Er... Not as of yet, but Warspite and Valiant are."
She smiled. "Splendid! I could go and meet them right now, but I suppose it might be too early in the day, if you can even call it day right now!"
The commander gave her a nod. "We also recovered your equipment, and are having it fixed up, so we'll be able to run your trials."
"Good!" She said. "I'll want to do all of this as soon as possible, so I'll be ready whenever you are, commander."
"I will be seeing you then." He left the room. She was certainly energetic, like most battlecruisers.
--------------------
Before he went to bed in the wee hours, he sent a message to Warspite telling them to expect a visit from their new comrade at any and all times, and it was something he had made sure to also address to himself. It was a proper warning, because he had just finished breakfast when-
DING DONG WHAM BAM
Using the doorbell and knocking. Well, more like battering, in this case.
He opened the door, and Incomparable was right there, impatiently bouncing on her heels- at times, she felt like a destroyer in a battlecruiser's body, always in a hurry to go and see and do things. "Commander! Vestal says that I'm good to be out and around, so there's no reason not to meet some of the rest of the Royals, is there?"
The queen might object to being awake at breakfast time, but besides that... "Yeah, I think we can just head over there. I'll show you where the dorms are." He sent a quick message to Belfast- if anyone could organize a polite reception quickly, it would be her.
As they arrived, he tipped his hat to Curlew, and there was a glimmer of recognition there- as one of the C-class, Incomparable would have known her line, if not this specific ship.
The commander had become quite familiar with the royal gardens at this point, and so he had no trouble leading her to where Belfast usually held tea. The maid had somehow managed to set up breakfast between the time he had messaged her and the time when they had arrived, and Belfast had arranged for a comforting set of guests to help ease Incomparable into her life at port- She had managed to secure Warspite, as well as Hood and Glorious- the lattermost of which was important, as she was someone who Incomparable would be aware of, and was also an aircraft carrier.
Belfast gave a bow. "Good morning, master. As you can see, we are ready to receive you."
"A good job as always, Belfast." The commander took his own seat at the table. "I'm glad you all were able to meet on such short notice. Anyway, this is the newest addition to the Royal Navy, Incomparable. Incomparable, you already know of Warspite and Glorious, and the other lady in blue is Hood, who is chief of the Royal Navy Battlecruisers."
Warspite immediately stood up. "Good morning, it is a pleasure to finally meet you. Unfortunately, her majesty is currently indisposed, but she will be pleased to have a new addition to the fleet."
She gave a small bow back. "Excellent- I look forward to serving alongside you- after all, great expectations have been placed on both of us." She looked to Hood and Glorious. "And I'm glad that there's still room for Battlecruisers to show their quality."
Hood had a giggle. "Indeed... However, miss Glorious over there is an airplane carrier, these days- she's a sort of ship you ought to become familiar with during your time with us."
"Airplane carrier...?" She snapped her fingers. "Oh, of course! The whole play with Ark Royal must have paid off, then."
Glorious spoke up. "Yes, they're important part of naval operations, these days. We do have an Ark Royal here, but she's not the one you know- just a newer ship with the same name."
Incomparable shook her head as she tried to process that. "Either way, I'm sure that miss Ark Royal carries her name with dignity, and will do nothing to shame her lineage or the Royal Navy."
Warspite sputtered a bit on her tea. The commander knew that while their Ark Royal was a very dependable and skilled carrier, she had interests that could very easily lead to a bad look. The commander knew that Ark Royal was harmless, but... Warspite spoke up. "Yes, well, I'm sure you'll meet her for yourself in due time. Anyway, please have a seat."
She did, and as soon as she was ready, Belfast produced tea and a place setting for their new visitor. One of the things that the commander noticed about Belfast is that when she served new arrivals, she did it as though they had been expected for a very long time.
The commander didn't really intervene any further, preferring to enjoy his breakfast instead. Warspite spent her time bringing Incomparable up to speed on the status of the Royal Navy, and in forming her that they working hand-in-gauntlet with the forces of other nations to suppress a powerful enemy. While Warspite was explaining that they were fighting against man's most dangerous foe, Incomparable didn't seem to shrink from it, but actually grew a bit twitchy, as though eager to challenge them herself.
There were always off and on skirmishes with Siren probe forces, so she might just get that chance sooner than she realized.
After Warspite helped Incomparable understand the current strategic situation, she decided to turn things over to him. "...With all that said, we aren't just all about fighting. There's plenty of opportunity for leisure with your fellows, and everyone has their own festival which they throw now and again. Our royal balls, Eastern spring festivals, and many more besides- out commander arranged a cooking competition in which one of our own took honors."
The commander spoke up. "This isn't really a normal sort of fleet. The expectations are different when your command consists of people who are ship, crew and captain all in one- I wouldn't call myself Arthur, but it does feel more like a Round Table that's run more through mutual respect and trust rather than simple authority."
Incomparable tapped her chin. "Well, once we can put me through some trials, I'll be eager to show you that I am worthy of both. Do you think we could accomplish that sort of thing this afternoon?"
That was sudden, and it seemed as though Incomparable was always in some sort of subconscious hurry. The commander sent a message out to Amazon and Kashino to get the course ready in double time. "...I think it can be done. Besides, I'm sure her majesty would like to see you in action after missing you this morning."
"Excellent!" She put her hands together. "Until then, I shall remain here, and meet as many of my new companions as possible, so they aren't surprised when I fight alongside them later."
The commander left her to it- with those three, she was in good hands.
​
Later that Afternoon, though, they had actually managed to set up the trial course for Incomparable's initial evaluation. The commander had a fair idea what to expect, thanks to Yuubari's preliminary reports on her rigging and make, now was just the matter of seeing her in action. The commander put on his ear protection- ships didn't need these, as their ears were sturdy enough to not go deaf from firing their own guns. Sitting at the edge of the dock was Queen Elizabeth, who was being served tea by Belfast, while Hood, Renown, and Repulse were also there in a sort of battlecruiser solidarity. Repulse was getting her phone ready to record the whole thing.
Yuubari and Amazon were on the course, ready to take notes.
Incomparable showed up on the water in her rigging, which had been fixed up by Akashi and Yuubari, the main feature being its six massive guns in twin mounts. Incomparable was a natural on the water, which was a universal feature of the living ships- they just knew how to deal with the ocean. "I'm ready when you are!"
The commander looked to Queen Elizabeth, who took a sip from her cup. "Come now, commander, you know that neither of us like to be kept waiting."
The commander raised his hand, and then lowered it, starting with the speed trials.
And she was damnably fast. A ship of her size and armament left a powerful wake as she dashed off through the course from one end to the other. Her speed was something else even for a ship of her nature. She wasn't really maneuverable, but the point of battlecruisers was to catch things and shoot them, not board them or do delicate things.
They had her run the course a few times, and he could see Amazon pull along side and give her pointers on how to manage her turns. Even though he was too far away to hear it, he could tell that was the case, as she learned to execute turns better with each round of advice. She was still shaky on the subject, though, as she seemed reluctant to slow down.
After a few rounds of that, though, she returned to the spot in front of Commander and the rest. It was time for gun trials. Akashi had set up targets many miles away, ready to receive whatever she might care to bring to bear. Akashi quickly got out of the way before the commander could order the next phase to commence. He gave the order.
And repulse decided to butt in. "Incomparable, show them what a battlecruiser does!"
"Indeed!" She shouted back, and all six of her guns went into firing position for a full salvo.
The commander dropped to the ground.
While most people understood recoil, some didn't really grasp the level of outward force exerted by firing capital-scale guns. This included a great deal of downward force as well. When talking about naval weapons, this force was exerted on water, and the blast of such powerful weapons could create a great spray as well. this spray ended up soaking the commander, but Belfast had thought ahead and managed to protect Queen Elizabeth with an umbrella.
Amazon came by and had Incomparable move further out onto the water for further tests.
Incomparable was eager to get to the shooting, and while her shooting had potential, Amazon had to help her use her targeting equipment correctly and also learn to manage the spread of her guns. Those were very heavy weapons, and so it took a bit of doing. Still, she was a quick learner, and started achieving satisfactory results.
The soaked and dripping commander sat up as she watched the trials for her secondary guns begin. While Hood was wringing out her skirt, the commander looked to Queen Elizabeth, who gave him a big smile. "The Royal Navy never disappoints, right commander?"
"Indeed." Incomparable's secondary armament was... adequate, but nothing special- but there was always room to tinker with equipment. Though she didn't really seem to have any anti-air weapons to speak of, which would have to be fixed. As impressive as her main battery was, there was still room for improvement in other areas. Out on the course, Amazon was teaching her how to move and fire at speed.
However, she was fast in refining her skills, meaning she had at least the same capacity for combat learning as other ships.
Once those trials were over, she came back in front of the commander, and did a little twirl in place, her coat swirling around her before she settled down. "You see, commander? I told you I was both ready and able."
"Looks like a good start to me." It was, but just a start. "We're going to have to run more trials over the next few days to work out any kinks and get an overall view of your full capabilities."
She smiled, and gave him a salute. "Commander, I'll show you what I can do as many times as you need!"
And then she moved off to explore more of the port for herself.
It'd probably be better if she had turned in her rigging first, though.
--------------------
The other trials continued, and so the commander could attend to other business. After a few more days, Yuubari made an urgent appointment to see him, and she usually discovered valuable things. They met in his office.
She held her reports in her hands. "We've continued Incomparable's sea trials, and it has shaken out as well as we expect. Those main guns of hers have firepower equivalent to theoretical 20-inch guns, and she's about as fast as many of our destroyers. While her guns have a higher load time than most, it's not unworkable, based on our experience developing Georgia's current armament."
"All right, sounds good."
She flipped the paper. "Her secondary armament requires some modernization to account for threats like aircraft. She will also need training to help her understand the threat that aircraft pose. All in all, though, she is a powerful ship."
And then there was a silence, until Yuubari flipped the next page. then more silence. "...Yuubari, I feel like there's a 'but' in there."
"I was collecting my thoughts, commander. As impressive as she is, she is not perfect, thanks to the methods of her construction." She flipped the page again. "However, as you asked me to conduct these trials, I am obligated to give you the truth."
He braced himself. "Which is?"
She went right to it. "This requires some context. Those of us who were once real ships are stable by default- all that is required is for the wisdom cubes to give us form. However, when building what you call the "ships that never were", it requires a careful and laborious process to assemble them into our existence."
He didn't like where this was going. "...Continue."
Neither did Yuubari, as she paused a bit before delivering the next part. "...However, Incomparable is the result of neither of those things. She was never made in the old days, and the process used to create her was not taken with care- it was the result of brute force, blind guesswork, and wishful thinking. So, her existence is... Flawed."
"...How flawed."
She sighed. "Based on what me and Vestal have uncovered, She's only going to live about ten years."
There was a silence for a long while. The commander eventually broke it. "And I assume you're telling me this because there's nothing which can be done about it."
"Yes."
He remained quiet for some time. "I see..."
She went on, however. "So, this leaves us with a few options, the first of which you will immediately reject. The first is that we put her back in stasis and only take her out when needed-"
"Which is not something we're ever going to do, of course, I'm not shackling her to that box."
She didn't even flinch at that. "So we can also choose to use her, or just forbid her from the fleet and allow her to live out her days in peace."
The commander rubbed his forehead. "...I won't make that choice for her. We are all defined by our ability to choose, and it's not something I'm going to take away from any of you, and I won't let anyone else take that away from you, either."
Yuubari put away her reports. "So, would you like me to tell her?"
The commander shook his head. "No, I'll do it. This is my responsibility, and a commander that doesn't take responsibility is one that's not worthy of the title. I'll bring her in."
He did find out that she had acquired a phone and a username (FisherQueen) so he sent a quick text to her. And he got a quick response. She showed up in the office at great speed, with Yuubari politely stepping out of the room. "Yes, commander?"
He looked to Incomparable. "Well, we've put you through trials and examinations, and we have some news for you." He stood up. "You have performed well in your sea trials, so we have no real doubts of your ability in the field."
Incomparable smiled- a bright one. "Commander, I will be glad to put my abilities to the service of your mission- I'm ready to go whenever you need me."
"I'm not finished."
She paused. "...Is there some other problem?"
"I'm afraid there is." He needed time to figure out how to put this, his mind racing to figure out how he could tell both her and himself that he was more than likely going to outlive her. "As splendid as you might be, it was a miracle you were made, and it turns out that you were not made well."
Her smile faded. "...How so?"
He took a quick, but deep breath. "Not much care was put into your making, and so your construction is flawed. This happens occasionally- Amagi is a bit sickly, for instance. But for you, the problem is somewhat more severe, and we can't really fix it."
She nodded. "I see... What flaw?"
He jumped right in to spare himself the prolonged agony of trying to cushion the truth. "You're only going to live for about ten years."
"Oh..." She began to tug at the sleeves of her coat.
He forged ahead- to hesitate would be to fall. "So, seeing as your life is cut short, I'm giving you a choice. I'm not going to force you to fight for us, and I'm not going to put you back in the box. I'd be perfectly fine letting you live out a peaceful life in port with the others, but..." He looked to the side. "...It's your life, so I want you to make this choice for yourself."
"Commander!"
He looked to her, and she was saluting him, looking determined, though her saluting hand was shaking a bit. He couldn't be sure that she wasn't simply putting on a brave face for either his sake or hers. "Commander... When I was given my rigging and allowed to show my prowess, I felt that I was given such strength and speed because I was meant to accomplish a great mission. And after hearing from the others that our enemy is one that holds our very oceans hostage, what better foe is there for me to fight? I won't stand by, and I won't be put to pasture. A ship in a harbor is safer than at sea, but port is not where a ship is meant to stay."
He nodded. "...So you're committed to fighting?"
She give him a quick nod. "I was made for this moment, and this moment was made for me. Once our foe is broken, and the vast oceans made free, my name will live forever, no matter how short my life is. And besides, I won't let the work be done by others while I can carry guns for the blessed isles."
He stayed silent. But this was the price of allowing others their own choice- they may not make one that you're comfortable with. "All right, we'll organize you into one of the ready forces."
She gave a small bow to him. "Thank you, commander. I will live more of life in my ten years than most people live in a hundred, just you watch me!" And then she left.
The commander watched her leave, and then he looked out the window to see her go. Outside, Incomparable was stopped by Littorio, who offered her a rose and a cocky smile. Incomparable responded by putting her arms around Littorio's waist, and giving her a deep, deep makeout session that bent her backwards. After Incomparable was done and had gone on her way, Littorio was left stunned, confused, but not really displeased.
The commander was left alone with himself for a while, and then Bismarck arrived. "...I see you had a talk with Incomparable."
He gave a quiet nod. "I did."
She nodded. "Is there anything you require?"
There was a pause before he could speak again. "I'd like to be left alone for a while. I know that I'm not good company for myself, but..."
Bismarck understood. "...Understood, commander. We have all had these moments, at times." and so she left him.
The commander was left to himself, and then took a combat knife to etch something into the wood of his desk.
"ATLANTIS OR BUST"
If she could only find peace when the invaders were defeated, then he'd defeat them as quickly as he was able.

Kept you waiting, huh? Trying something a bit different this time, hope you all like it. As always, you can read it on Fanfiction here and the rest of my works here. Enjoy!
The heavenly aroma of baked goods filled my nose, slowly pulling me from my restful slumber. I rolled over, my hand feeling the now-empty spot next to me in the bed and I smiled to myself. She always was an early riser. With a contented sigh, I threw off the covers and made my way out to the kitchen. Sure enough, there she was, already getting started on breakfast, scones by the look of things, wearing her favorite oversized t-shirt, apron, and little else. Her silvery hair swayed in counterpoint to her hips as she danced along to the soft music of the radio. I came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist, surprising her. She let out a tiny “eep!” of surprise before she giggled and leaned her head back to give me a tender kiss. Every day with her was like something out of a beautiful Parisian dream. But I’m getting ahead of myself, let’s go back to the beginning, and as with any good love story, this one began with three little words…
******************************************************************
“It’s Case Anton,” Richelieu announced as she burst into my office, startling both London and myself. It wasn’t like the Cardinal to just fling open the door and barge in, unannounced, nor would I normally tolerate such behavior from anyone, be they the smallest destroyer to a mighty battleship like her. But those three little words stopped me dead in my tracks.
“What?” I asked, hoping against hope I had heard her wrong. I hadn’t.
“It’s Case Anton,” she repeated in between deep gulps of air. She must have run all the way from the Iris barracks to my office. “The Iron Blood intends to take Toulon and all the ships there.”
My heart sank and my blood ran cold. If the Iron Blood manages to capture the Vichya fleet, it would boost their rapidly-depleting ranks of capital ships and drag this war on even further. Even if they refused to obey, they could still be used to make fleets of Pawns and after reading Shokaku’s report after she had been rescued by Zuikaku, I knew none of those girls deserved that.
I quickly looked over at London, who was already looking expectantly at me. “War council, 30 minutes, go,” I ordered her, and she saluted smartly before dashing out the door. As she gathered up the various fleet leaders, I began to rifle through my files, grabbing everything we had on the Vichy fleets: ship dossiers, intelligence reports, aerial photos. “Damn, damn, damn,” I swore under my breath. “What happened? Did they find out about our negotiations with the Vichya?”
Richelieu looked on as I tore through the office like a paperwork-obsessed dervish, grabbing file after file. “I’m...I’m not sure, Commander. I just got word that the Iron Blood was beginning to mobilize and that the likely target was Toulon.”
I let out a heavy sigh and shook my head. While it’s possible that the Iron Blood had enough of using the Vichya as cat’s paws and simply decided to take direct control, I still couldn’t shake the feeling that somehow they had been tipped off to our attempts to reconcile with the renegade Iris faction. But worrying about that now would do me no good, so I decided to change the subject. Without looking up from my task, I asked Richelieu “How’s Jean Bart? Has she woken up yet?”
“There’s...been some brain activity, but she’s still in a coma,” she replied, and I could hear the pain in her voice. “Still no word on when she’ll wake up. At least, as of a few days ago.”
My heart went out to her; I couldn’t imagine what it must be like to have a sibling hanging on by a thread, caught in between life and death. “So I’m guessing moving her from Toulon’s out of the question, huh?”
“Oui,” she sadly confirmed. “And even if we could, we would have to be very careful about how we went about it. I don’t think it’s anything we could do on short notice.”
I placed the last file on the now-imposing stack of folders, photos, and paperwork and looked over at the Cardinal. She looked utterly heartbroken, and I understood at least some of her pain. Losing someone you care about is bad enough, but losing them whilst you’re estranged is so much worse, and I didn’t want to see any of the Iris girls put through that hell. “So how much time do we have?”
Her response didn’t help matters much. “Not long. Maybe two weeks at the most?”
“Two weeks? Can we even make it on at such short notice?” I asked, trying to do the math in my head.
“If we push hard, we can have a fleet at Toulon in thirteen days.” She must have done the math already, or she was just naturally good with numbers. Unfortunately, those numbers didn’t leave us much time.
I sighed and shook my head. “Gonna be cutting it awfully tight,” I remarked grimly. “That’s going to leave us with barely a day to organize a defense. Assuming they don’t just sink you on sight. Do we have an estimate as to the size of the enemy force?”
“Jeanne is bringing those over as we speak, and she’ll have those waiting for us when we arrive,” she answered as she watched me struggle to lift the veritable mountain of information. “Commander, let me help.”
Before I could object, Richelieu reached over and took the top half from me. While she could easily take the entire stack with her enhanced strength, I appreciated the gesture of letting me carry at least some of it on my own. “Thank you, Your Eminence,” I said with a grateful nod.
“You’re welcome,” she smiled back, “Now come, we don’t have much time.”
**********************************************************************************
We hurried down to the operations room to find everyone already assembled and waiting, much to my pleasant surprise. London was nothing if not efficient, and today was no exception. Seated around the table was the designated leader for each of their respective faction, along with their aide. Representing the Eagle Union was Enterprise, with Cleveland as her second. For the Royal Navy, Queen Elizabeth haughtily sipped her tea while Warspite dutifully awaited the briefing. The breakaway faction of the Sakura Empire, dubbed the “Combined Fleet Reborn”, was headed by Nagato, with Mikasa advising her. The Iron Blood rebels, led by the icy Tirpitz, with Z23 as her aide, stood next to them. And finally, waiting for Richelieu to join her, was Jeanne d’Arc, representing the Iris Libre. Yat Sen and Ning Hai were there on behalf of the Eastern Radiance, with Ning Hai snacking on a meat bun she had somehow snuck in. The only absent factions were the Sardegna Empire, the Northern Parliament, and, of course, the Vichya Dominion. And out of those three, only two we had no official contact with. We had nominal relations with the Northern Parliament, but with so many ships tied up fighting the Sirens, they had yet to send us any kansen beyond Avrora.
I set the mountain of files down on the large holotable that dominated the room, Richelieu setting hers down next to mine before taking her place beside Jeanne d’Arc. No sooner than the Iris battleship had moved away, London swooped in and began distributing the files to each representative. While she went about her task, I decided to get things started.
“Time is of the essence, so I’m just going to get right to it. The Iron Blood have enacted Case Anton.” There was a quiet murmur around the room, and I waited for it to die down before continuing. “Their goal is to seize the port of Toulon and all ships, mass-produced and kansen alike, and press them into direct service of the Iron Blood. Any Vichya autonomy will be revoked.”
Enterprise was the first to speak up, her question undoubtedly the one on everyone’s minds. “And if the Vichya refuse?”
My eyes flicked over to Nagato, who nodded briefly. “In the case of mass-produced ships, it won’t be much of an issue, they’ll just be slaved to Iron Blood command. As for the kansen…” I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, knowing the answer would be unpleasant, to say the least. “...they’ll probably be either imprisoned or sunk, and their bodies will be used as Pawn templates.”
At this point, we’d all encountered Pawns-similar to kansen in appearance and abilities, but lacking the independence, humanity, and soul of a shipgirl. Several ships on the base had been used as Pawn templates, and it was widely regarded amongst the kansen as one of the cruelest fates imaginable. To a woman, the entire group looked stricken, and even London paused in her duties for just a moment.
“They...they’d never allow themselves to be used to create such...unholy abominations!” Jeanne declared, and I nodded in agreement with her.
“While I’ve never met any of them, I’ve read their files, and spoken with you about them, and I have to agree. Considering their behavior at Mers-El-Kabir and Casablanca, I highly doubt they would willingly submit or surrender. Which means they’ll either be taken by force or sunk.”
“I doubt they would be taken alive,” Richelieu added, her normally strong voice small and meek as she stared at the holotable. “They would fight bravely, as any proud Templar Knight would, but if all seems lost, they would take the same route my sister did, and sink themselves.”
Her words hung in the air, and I glanced around at all the somber faces, the grim realization of what the price of our failure, or worse, inaction will be. “There you have it. We’ve got Iron Blood moving on Toulon and not a lot of time to come up with a response if we want to intercept them in time. Right now, I see three options. The first is to do nothing. We are currently at war with the Vichya Dominion and the Iron Blood, and technically, don’t need to get involved in an internal matter.” Holding up a hand to forestall the wave of objections, I continued. “This isn’t a course of action I would approve of in the slightest, but it is an option High Command will consider. Despite our hostilities, we are working to broker a truce with the Vichya, if not outright bringing them back into the fold, so losing them would still be a blow to us.
“The next option would be to simply hand the information over to the Vichya through diplomatic channels. Warn them of what’s coming and let them deal with it as they see fit. It’s the option High Command’s going to favor-it doesn’t require huge fleet movements or disrupting current operations, and it puts the onus on the Vichya. We warned them, if they failed to act, then it’s on their heads.
“The last option, and the one I’m in favor of, is to take a fleet to Toulon, negotiate with Strasbourg or Algerie or whoever’s in charge and ask to join their defenses. Whether they join Azur Lane or whether it’s an alliance of convenience, doesn’t matter. We sail over there, help them out, and see where things go from there.” I looked around the room, sizing everyone up. “Opinions?”
Queen Elizabeth was the first to speak up, setting her cup of tea down and standing on the seat to appear taller. “It would certainly be a shame if all of our hard work with the Vichya went down the drain because of some Iron Blood cads. We say take a fleet to Toulon and show those Iron Blood fools the folly of trifling in the Queen’s business!”
As she sat back down, Tirpitz spoke up, her voice as cold as ever. “If the Sirens manage to get their hands on so many new battleships and cruisers, things are going to go on for much, much longer. I’m all for ending this war and going back home. I say send a fleet.”
Nagato was the next to answer, her voice soft, yet strong. “Pawns are terrible, terrible creations, and more than one of my people have been subjected to this horrific fate. I will not allow this to happen to one more kansen, Sakura or not. Send your fleet, Shikikan.”
“The Eagle Union stands with my colleagues,” Enterprise stated. “Send your fleet.” Yat Sen simply nodded in agreement and I looked over at Richelieu and Jeanne.
“I don’t think I even need to ask,” I said with a wry grin.
“If you think you can stop us from our holy mission, you would be gravely mistaken!” Jeanne proudly declared, and the Cardinal smiled at her subordinate.
“Wouldn’t dream of it,” I chuckled. “I think that settles it, then. The War Council has spoken: a fleet will be sent to Toulon to aid the Vichya ships there. I’ll get the final clearance from High Command. In the meantime, Richelieu, speak with Queen Elizabeth and put together a task force. We sail the moment I get clearance. Any questions?”
Everyone shook their heads and I clapped my hands together. “Then let’s get to it, we don’t have much time.” As everyone began to depart, I quickly made my way over to the Sakura delegation. “Lady Nagato,” I began, “If I could have just a moment of your time…”
*****************************************
I followed the haunting melody of a flute around the small pagoda, finding it’s player sitting in the Zen garden, facing away from me. I would have liked to stop and listen to more of its beautiful sounds, but unfortunately, I was in something of a hurry. Not wanting to startle her, I cleared my throat to get her attention.
Shokaku lowered the flute and glanced over her shoulder to see who it was who interrupted her. She smiled softly when she saw me, and stood to face me. “Good morning, Shikikan,” she greeted me. “Did you come to hear me play?”
“I’m afraid not,” I said with a sad smile. “I’m getting underway as soon as I’m done here, and time is of the essence. Perhaps next time.”
Her face fell for just a moment before it was replaced by a polite smile. “I would be honored to play for you upon your return. May I ask what brought you here?”
“Two things,” I began. “First, in my absence, Enterprise is in overall command of the base. While I’m gone, try and keep your stubborn sister from challenging her every five minutes, okay?”
The carrier giggled and she nodded. “I will try, Shikikan. And the other?”
My smile died and I took a deep breath. “The other pertains to you. More specifically, your time spent as a Pawn of the Sirens.” Shokaku’s own smile disappeared, replaced by a deeply troubled expression. “I know this is a lot to ask, given how personal and upsetting this is, but I would like to include your statements given after your...recovery from the Sirens. Where I’m headed…the kansen there are about to wind up in the same place you were, and I would like them to understand the fate that awaits them if we don’t help them.”
To my surprise, she didn’t hesitate in the slightest. “Yes,” she quickly said, although the pain was still evident in her voice. “Include it. If it helps save even one of them...then it will be worth it. And good luck, Commander.”
My smile returned and I bowed to her. “Thank you, and thank you, Shokaku.”
“You are most welcome,” she replied, returning the bow. “Now go. You wouldn’t want to miss your own departure.”
********************************************************
As it happened, I almost did miss my departure. Jeanne d’Arc was so gung-ho on leaving, she had already cleared her moorings and was preparing to sail out, leaving the rest of the fleet hurrying to try and stop her. Fortunately, I arrived just in the nick of time and raced up Richelieu’s gangplank just before she had to withdraw it. With that minor excitement out of the way, we formed up and began the long twelve-day journey to Toulon. Along with Jeanne d’Arc and Richelieu, we were accompanied by Le Triomphant, Surcouf, Saint Louis, and Bearn, along with Ark Royal, Foxhound, Warspite, and King George V from the Royal Navy in the hopes they could make amends for what happened at Mers-el-Kabir.
It was a stressful time, to say the least. While we gathered as much intel as we could before departing, once we had left the port, we sailed under strict radio silence. Nothing in, nothing out, to maintain operational security. If the Sirens or the Iron Blood got wind of a relief force headed to Toulon, it was conceivable they could bump up their timetable and launch an attack while we were still halfway across the globe. So for twelve long days, we had little but the open ocean and worrying thoughts to keep us company. Even the normally relaxed and pleasant Surcouf seemed on edge. For the most part, we kept to ourselves, trying to busy ourselves with whatever work we could find. I found myself pouring over the dossiers of the shipgirls who we would likely encounter in Toulon-namely, those who would be in charge.
At the moment, it seemed it was an equal chance between one of three ships-Strasbourg, Algerie, and Dunkerque. Of the three, the one we had little to no information on was Strasbourg, which made her a marginally better choice than Algerie, who seemed openly hostile to Azur Lane when she last spoke with Richelieu. That left Dunkerque, who was likely our best hope of listening to us. Not to mention the one we had the most information on. Not just service history and operational records, but from informal sources like the Iris Libre ships. All of them spoke highly of her, not just for her skills and leadership in battle, but her gentle nature off the field. And her cooking. Specifically her skills with baking. Every single one has at least one story about Dunkerque appearing from nowhere with some cake, cookie, or another baked delight that tasted like a slice of heaven itself. It was getting so bad that I swear I’d start salivating as soon as someone mentioned her in a tale.
A knock on the door brought me out of my reverie, and I glanced over my shoulder to see Richelieu standing in the doorway, a worried smile on her face. “I hope I am not interrupting, mon Commandant.”
“Not at all,” I smiled back reassuringly as I turned to face her. “Just going over the dossiers for the possible leaders we’ll be dealing with for the thirtieth time.”
She takes a seat in the chair next to my desk, peering over at Dunkerque’s open file. “Are you hoping to speak with her?”
I leaned back in my chair and nodded. “Out of the three possible leaders, yeah. She seems the most reasonable, she’s a known quantity, and from what we know, she’s not overtly hostile to Azur Lane.” Richelieu nodded in agreement and there was a pregnant pause before I asked the obvious question. “What do you think my chances are? Realistically.”
The Cardinal took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Depending on who we get, I would say fifty-fifty. If Algerie is in charge, it’s probably lower. It will also depend on them believing the information we give them.”
“Yeah. That’s the tricky part,” I sighed. “They’re probably going to want some sort of verification of the information and I’m not sure exactly how we’ll do that. It’s not like the Iron Blood or the Sirens are going to tell them the truth. ‘Oh, JA, we’re going to make you our slaves in funf minuten. Didn’t you get the memo?’”
Richelieu giggled at my over-the-top German accent and shook her head. “I’m sure you’ll figure something out, Commander. We still have plenty of time left before we reach Toulon.”
Right at that moment, the intercom crackled to life. “We’re approaching the meeting point for our rendezvous with Le Terrible.”
“Or not.”
*************************************************
An hour later, we were receiving our Vichya spy on board Richelieu, ushering her quickly into the CIC to begin debriefing her. Twelve days was a long time to go without any sort of news. Fortunately, the one-eyed destroyer had information in spades for us. Unfortunately, very little of it was good.
“The Iron Blood have mobilized a division to surround Toulon, although they haven’t mobilized any of their fleets yet,” she informed us, moving symbols around the holomap to indicate current enemy positions.
“That’s odd,” I remarked. “What’s to stop the Vichya from simply taking to the sea and sailing away?”
Le Terrible held up a finger to stop any further questions. “I said their fleets. The Sardegnian fleet has mobilized recently under the guise of training exercises. Looks like Zara, Pola, Guilo Cesare, and Littorio, plus a few mass-produced models. My guess is that the Sardegnians are looking to pick up a few ships to replace those that were lost in the opening battles against the Royal Navy.”
“Slaves or Pawns,” I sighed, almost under my breath.
“Pawns?” Le Terrible asked.
I shook my head and waved dismissively. “I’ll explain later. Now, how much longer before the Iron Blood tightens the noose?”
“About thirty-six hours.”
“Damn,” I swore. “That doesn’t leave us with a lot of time. Guess we’re going to go with my original plan. First thing’s first. Le Terrible, you’re staying here with the Iris Libre fleet until this is over, one way or the other.”
“But I can-” The destroyer quickly objected but I cut her off just as fast.
“No. In case everything fails and Toulon falls, we’ll have saved at least one ship. I know this is a hard thing I’m asking of you, but nevertheless, you must carry out my orders on this one. No buts.”
Her single eye met mine before looking down at the deck, utterly resigned. “Oui.”
I waited to make sure there were no more objections before continuing. “With that out of the way, while I’m undergoing negotiations, I want the fleet stationed just out of range of Toulon and awaiting my signal.”
“We’re not going with you?” Richelieu asked, puzzled.
I shook my head. “No. Surcouf will take me in alone, and I’ll conduct the negotiations myself. Once we’ve reached agreeable terms, I will send the signal ‘Vive la Orthodoxy’ on an open channel, at which point it will be clear for you to come in.”
“And if that signal never comes?”
“Then you are to stay on-station for forty-eight hours at maximum, or until the Iron Blood have conquered Toulon, whichever comes first. At that point, my last orders to you are to return to the Azur Lane at best possible speed and inform High Command of what happened. I have a letter and instructions in my cabin should that happen.” There was a ripple of shock that ran through the room, and a soft murmuring as the various shipgirls processed what was about to happen.
“And what makes you think they’ll even listen to you?” Jeanne piped up.
Knowing the firestorm I was about to provoke, I shrugged as nonchalantly as possible and answered, “Simple. I’m going to surrender.”
A/N-I’m back! You’re back! Welcome back! And for those of you who are new, hi! Returning readers who are used to my usual four or five chapter format, I have a little bit of a surprise for you. This won’t be four or five chapters. We haven’t even been properly introduced to our leading lady yet! While I don’t have a full chapter count yet, this does have a planned endpoint and I’ve already written four chapters already to give myself some breathing room. In addition to this long-form story, I’d like to announce the next batch of shipgirls! Gangut and Mikasa will be featured in their own stories (Mikasa’s will be the regular 4-5 chapter story, Gangut’s...may be longer). And if they ever add Essex-class Yorktown, she’ll be getting her own story as well. If she’s a retrofit, it will be Broken Wings, Vol. 2, and if it’s a new ship...well, it’ll be a bit more tragic as far as plot hooks are concerned. And of course, keep a weather eye out for more of the New Year's Anthology. As always, thanks so much for reading and fair winds and following seas!

Hello everyone!
I am staring down the barrel of what feels like a gun. Yet again, I am forced to try out as many mattresses as I humanly can as I have another cross country move in the upcoming months. However, last time it was just my comfort that I needed to take into consideration while this time I am also considering the comfort of my partner as well as our cat who either sleeps beneath our bed or with us depending on the season. We are specifically looking at queen sizes as they are big enough for us without overtaking most rooms.
After trying over 20 mattresses, my partner and I agree that we both like the Casper Wave mattress. I am balking a bit at the thought of paying over $1,500 for a mattress, let alone the fact that normally that amount has gotten me all of the extra items I need. Including a bed frame, mattress protector, box spring, and maybe some sets of linen if needed. Has anyone found a mattress comparable to the Casper Wave? I'd love to see if I can try out some alternatives that are about the same before we officially dedicate the amount of money that a Casper Wave will cost.
I'm also wondering if anyone has any recommendations for bed frames. My partner and I want this bed to be an investment as we do not plan to move from the area we will be relocating to anytime in the future whereas previously the plan has always been to live at the location for 5-8 years max so wee are hoping to have a nice bed frame. We both agree that our feet being able to hit the floor when we sit up in the morning would be nice (I'm 5'6" and partner is 6'2") and we both are looking for a bed frame that does NOT require a box spring. I prefer a wood finish whereas he leans towards a fabric bed frame to protect from any shin bangs. My goal is to return to a bed frame that has at least a 9-inch clearance for putting items underneath as I have some negative feelings about not being able to store our luggage under our bed currently. Neither of us feels a particular need for a head board, and we have noticed a lot of bed frames come with one regardless. Being able to remove the headboard would be a major plus! Any assistance here, either places to look or specific models would be much appreciated!
Lastly, our move is via our two cars. This means that pretty much anything that we are getting rid of pretty much everything that won't fit in our cars. We have lived pretty minimalistic where we currently are since we knew it was not a permanent location. If you have any recommendations for bedroom extras I would love some ideas!
Any help would be appreciated! I'm exhausted from all the looking around I've done, but I feel like I haven't found anything that we agree on besides the Casper Wave and both balking a bit at the price tag.

Well that is what I get for not knowing how to make sure it is understandable Hope this redesign will help for those who wish to read it and to /PhoenixVersion1u Hopefully this will be less of a wall of text but it might still be just one giant wall Thank You for the opportunity and I will make sure I have way less words next time. Until next month.
Welcome to the first week of July in an alternate Universe We are joined as always by Star and Marco where they are preparing for one of the best weeks of their life making it possible for them to just be by themselves with none of their family and just the two of them. They had found out about a School Summer Camp and this is the journey of the Adventure of Summer Camp. In This Universe Star and Marco have been given magic allowing for them to when needed to protect anyone that gets into their way. Skywynne who is a time traveler has been within this story. We join them now.
" Star I am so glad to be with the love of my dream for one full week by ourselves. I wish that we could have an entire lifetime just to ourselves. Well that is not possible but we can take advantage of this week by ourselves. When we leave for the camping trip we will get to be together making it possible for us to have some fun. Well Star I have been on a trip like this before but not with the school. I have heard it is an amazing experience for all who participate. Who is going to be attending the Camping Trip. Well I heard Janna told Tom about the event and is joining her since he is going to be attending the trip with us. We also will be joined by Starfan13, Jackie, and Chloe and all the friends we have ever met at Echo Creek. I wish you had told me that. Well You two better get to bed now since if I remember correctly you both have an early wake up call if you wanna catch the bus and considering it is the only way to summer camp I highly suggest you both be asleep now. Also Marco can I talk to you? Well what is it Skywynne? I want you to take the wand with you in case something terrible happens and you need to tap into magic but remember only if something evil comes into play. No showing off if you know what I mean. Yes I do but what about Star? She will also be told the same thing and I would like you both to know that something at any moment could happen but we need to be careful. I know and we will watch each other's backs and fronts. Good I thought I was going to have to put a spell restriction on you both. Wait, you can do that, why did we never know about it? Well I have never needed to use it but I did come up with one that worked pretty well. Who did you test it on? The only person who could recover from it since if I did it on one of us Butterflies our magic would have been forever limited since I quite never did figure out how to undo it so it is a good thing I don’t have to. Well Let Me guess Glossaryck told you never to use that spell since he would never be able to fix the effects of the spell being casted. Yeah you are right I guess we know that would never be well at all. Star would you come join us since I want to tell you this as well I would like neither of you abusing your magic. I won’t since we want to be able to have a nice calm magicless week with all my friends. Well we both will keep each other safe and nothing will go wrong. Good I felt like I was going to have to make sure you both didn’t abuse your magic. Well with those bases covered we will be off to bed. Good Night."
As they fall asleep a different view transitions. "I am glad that the day has finally come the first summer camps and as always the tradition of the Rockies Campground the first camp this year will be the Echo Creek Academy allowing for us to finally get the goal of our dreams. We have always been told about campfire stories. But they don’t know that this story is true and we have always failed when it comes to actually taking the victim and tickling them to death but this year we will succeed and nothing will get in our way. Who have we chosen to take on the tickling of death this year. We have chosen the one we have heard rumors about he is the safest kid in that entire school Marco Diaz and he won’t be alone his best friend Star Butterfly who was the previous queen of Mewni will more than likely be with him and we will have to separate them so we can grab him. I see what is the plan. Sir I have already dealt with that They both will be separated during the sleeping hours of the night and you will strike the third night do you understand. I will tell the time honored story of the Man who was tickled to death as always and say that maybe this year may be the final year we tell this story. I understand thank you Camp Director but what made you agree to do this with us? We have always been after trying to get someone but you made it so we could do it even easier. Well because I know a thing or two about how that when you put fear into someone it will allow them to come together and we do it just for Echo Creek Academy to shine a light on working together as always. Thank you of course you would be the one who could do this for more than just scaring the campers. You do it for unity. I like it and we will see you in four days. Yes we will and I hope with a whole school of kids together to find Marco Diaz."
The Morning Comes and Marco and Star join up with all their friends and get all loaded up on the bus to head off to the Rockies Campground. "Now Class line up I need to make sure you all are here that are supposed to be here. Let’s see yes and yes and oh great where is Star Butterfly? Right Here Mrs Skullzy I also have Marco Diaz with me. Of course you do whatever happened to my model student now you seem to be more like her than I have ever seen before. Wait, are you saying I am becoming the misunderstood bad kid. If you wanna put it that way yes but before I lose my head sit your pretty butts down and don’t disrupt this bus ride or I will have you personally thrown off and you can walk straight home okay. We will sit down now Mrs Skullnick I’m Sorry Star has lost her mind since she is just a little too excited to be on this trip. Well I understand but we need to get going. We are holding up the show they want us gone like yesterday’s paper. I know we understand. Star please sit down!"
They Sit down and they begin heading towards the Rockies Campground and Star and Marco start talking about all the fun things they have planned. "Star what do you wanna do first tomorrow when we have skills workshops. Well the first skill I would like to work on is my more creative side which involves me being able to have some fun without being judged for my poor drawing skills. Well Star you wouldn’t be the first one to ever. I was thinking of taking up Archery since I have always wanted to learn a way to defend myself without magic or karate. Wow a protective guy but I have known how to shoot an arrow since I was seven when the royal guard taught me to make sure I always aimed a little bit against the wind since the weight of the arrow often would get it carried to the right spot always assuring a direct hit. Wow You did have an adventurous life when you were younger I wonder what else did the royal guard teach you when you were younger. Ah yes life before the complex day’s I would always try to be like them and they taught me to be like them I was next to them always. The only other person who had as much influence on me was my mother and it was to me in a way not what I wanted since I didn’t like the thought I had to be the Perfect princess and as such I never did I always heard what she had to say and a few moments still are with me and I think this was the best one. Star Butterfly whatever you do with your life always knows you will be our little girl and you will always have a home with us. I still know they care and my mother has become more compassionate towards me and I will always cherish that now more than ever. Well Star I see now you have come closer to your mother Moon haven’t you. Of course I have she is my mother and guess I took advantage of that when I was younger and didn’t treat her right and she developed this feeling she failed with me when she had to send me to Earth and have hope I would be alright and they wouldn’t have to bail me out. Well I think our bus is about to come to a stop. Wait Already I thought we had just whattt."
Star Looks at her watch that Marco had given her so she could know the time while she didn’t have her phone. Mrs Skullnick Steps forward. "The bus has come to a complete stop. We will wait for every bus to come to a stop for the purpose of checking everyone in and getting the groups into the Auditorium for the Welcoming Ceremony afterwards you will report to your cabin and set up. Once that is done you have until 6:00 Pm for free time and then you will report for dinner. I assume everyone brought Money Correct. The package includes the hot meal and milk but knowing everyone who always has come on this trip which I don’t know how I haven’t got bored and said I wouldn’t host this but here we are another year of this trip and no luck of getting out of it. What was that Mrs Skullzy oh nothing why did you move Star Butterfly. I thought You could enjoy this. What You brought this for me oh I should have been a little bit less angered at this moment but doesn’t change your situation with me little butterfly. I have lost so much of my freedoms when you destroyed the magic I had so much of my life but now I will live like any other human and now we are done here thank you Star I will accept your potato chip gift. Ooo Ham and Potato my favorite." Lucky it wasn’t a trick can but was actually a package of potato chips and it made Mrs Skullnick happy and they had only one bus left and the camp director came and knocked on the front door of the bus and the driver opened it allowing Mrs Skullnick to bring forward the check they owed for food and the package they always were given. The total per student had come out to $325 which worked for Star and Marco and they also each brought $150 to make sure they had the perfect trip and could buy a souvenir of their adventures they both had accomplished.
"My Class will now begin unloading the bus following me. The gear will remain here for it to be distributed to the cabins. Everyone remembered to mark your luggage with your name and grade and class. Yes Mrs Skullnick. Good now follow me please and Star and Marco Diaz to the front I don’t want any of your funny business at least while in my presences but once you are in that auditorium you are no longer my problem we teachers get a special treatment The only reason I somehow still agree to be one of the hosts for this trip and if we didn’t have to be on the property with the kids I would be gone in a heartbeat for the week. Um Mrs Skullzy oh sorry doing it again I get side tracked since that is all my life seems to be now days alright onward."
They all make it into the Auditorium and as the last few are filing in from the busses the Staff and Crew of the Rockies Campground follow them behind and come down to the front and the crowd notices that they are about to start. "Good Morning Echo Creek I am The Director of Camp Rockies or as most people know it as The Rockies Campground. I am Jonathan Wittman and I will be introducing you to the world of our campgrounds and then we will assign you to your groups and cabins. This year due to a demand Increase we have assigned all males to the sleeping tent grounds with already preset tents that house comfortable 4 people per tent and our females will be in our cabins like normal. Wait Star we won’t be together like I had hoped normally they will do co ed sleeping quarters in the cabins but I guess we just got unlucky this time with the fact they have about 3,000 additional campers. As you all know this is one of our biggest turn out in the history of the Echo Creek Campout and to just make it known how much We have 5,245 campers this week unlike normal where we see 2,000 to 3,000 campers on this trip but we are prepared as all of you know you said that you would be coming and now you are here and let’s make the best of it. We will today be doing the following: Opening Ceremony, Orientation, Lunch which is provided at our cafeteria, Room Setup and Checks for daily points, freetime, dinner, and Evening fire ceremony. We expect all campers to be the ceremonies on time since it will earn you points to determine who is our Camping Extraordinaire and it is an honor to any person from Echo Creek since you get to say for the remainder of your time at school you were champ of the Camping Extraordinaire. Room checks will also play a key role and participation in our skill classes whether good or not will earn your team points. With that let’s discuss the teams now. As you all have received when you entered the Auditorium a wrist bracelet that is color coded and assigned to a specific region of our camp. At this time we would like you to move around and join up with our Camp Staff who have been sitting in the audience with you and they will be holding up a specific sign that should match yours. Each color will be used twice males will have a M on their wrist bands while females will be just the color. Now Go and Be free and join your team."
They Move around and Star finds out that both her and Marco had been placed on the same color path Blue and the only difference was that she was in the cabin and he was in the Tents. Star was Joined by the following she knew from Earth: Janna, Chloe, and Brittney which neither of them were happy about. Coming from Mewni she was joined with Princess Spiderbite. The group was finished out with humans, mewmens and Monsters. Marco was joined by Tom, Slime Monster, and Alfanzo. Like Star his group also had all three types of races in one group to finish it off. Jackie had been placed in the maroon group and was joined by Starfan13, and Ponyhead since somehow she had been informed from someone that she was invited to this camping trip since she would be a student in the fall semester with Star and Marco. "Now that you have been brought together, treat all that are with you as family for the next week and you will for sure have a great shot at getting the Award. Marco Let’s do this, we will get all of our enemies that stand in the way defeated. Um Star don’t do this again we aren’t trying to kill them okay. I know silly I would never kill anyone like totally totally totally. Like I believe you but please don’t. Okay I won’t. People now that you have hopefully gotten to know who you are with we will give you this final advice don’t break the rules for breaking rules results in points being taken away and you will surely never get what you all desire to have a great time. Good luck to you all and away you go."
"Blue please follow us this way we will now begin the orientation. I guess we should start by introducing ourselves: I am Robert, and this is my partner in crime and love of my life My beautiful wife Rozeta and as you can see we are the only couple staff on the premise since often we get younger couples who work here but we have been here since 2008 and have loved it we actually found each other here and fell in love. Now enough about us I would like to know all your names." They introduce their names and one name that stuck out for Star was known as James and he had been talking with all the cool kids while Star and Marco were chatting. "Good now let's see here if I remember correctly yes we will begin the orientation with the Cafeteria." They travel through the tour and split off to head to their sleeping quarters. "Now that we are alone I believe that this year we got the royal treatment since there is one set of cabins with air conditioning and it rotates around which staff get’s the group that is assigned here and you are the lucky bunch this week. I will let you all get settled in and find your place and with that I will see you at lunch. It runs from 12:00 to 1:00 PM please don’t miss it since if you do it will be a long wait for dinner which is scheduled for 5:00 Pm with a Fire Ceremony Starting at 8:00. We will be around at two to check your cabins and award points. A different staff will judge our set of cabins and I will of course do the same. With that away you go."
Star and her group she was assigned with four cabin buddies to get to know each other and have some fun while they are waiting for 12:00 to come and when it does they all head down for lunch and Marco joins Star and they walk Together. "How are you enjoying your first time at camp? It is amazing I never thought in such little time I could bond with my cabin mates and we got lucky our cabins are the only air conditioned cabins in the entire camp. I thought I heard that one of the other female groups was saying they wished they had gotten Blue instead of what color they got. Well I think we better get some lunch before it is gone." They have a nice lunch and Star for the first time tries Soda since Marco knew she was camping and it was something he would do since he could burn it out of his body. Star had been given what she should have and it was Sprite and they finished off the lunch without major difficulty.
"Star you ready for some swimming. I was thinking we could start off today by getting our safety clearance. The camp needs to allow us to swim out in the lake that they had and I want to make sure we aren’t crowded since I want to be close to you." The Plan had backed fire but they ran into Jackie who was showing Chloe how to swim and be able to stay above the water while doing so. "Hey you two nice to see you out here. Hey Marco and Star see we think the same I am here helping Chloe so she can join in the fun since it has been a little while since she last swam and she didn’t know if she would be able to have fun in the kiddie section. Well we wish you luck. You as well we better be off since I think Chloe just needs some time to work on remembering the confidence she needs to do the test." Star and Marco enter the water and complete the safety test with flying colors and are given the wrist band they need to be able to swim and participate in the water activities planned by the camp which were going to be fun for all. The remainder of the day goes smoothly and we join them at the end of the night during the fire Ceremony.
"Good Evening welcome to the fire ceremony we are all glad you enjoyed your first day and now we come together to enjoy some lore of this camp. I present to you The following legend that has been told to all campers of Echo Creek, a legend you are all about to join. Every four years we are attacked by what is known as the Tickling Bandits who have chosen one victim from Echo Creek and they are abducted on the Third Night and taken to be tickled to death. It is said they leave behind a clue of who they have chosen and how to find them. The School would join in unity to defeat and rescue the student chosen by these awful bandits. They have never succeeded and we will never let them either. With that we will end tonight with the theme of our camp. I believe you all should have received a card with this theme which will introduce you to the history of the Rockies. Our campers become a part of the memories and are carved in the rocks of time allowing all to be one and remember that we are free. Join with Me: I now Stand within the Rocks Of Time The Past ringing out reminding all that the freedoms that all stand for live within these rocks. The Future guiding those who step forward with a perfect light never failing those who call upon the rocks. You now will carve your own past and press forward with these guiding rocks creating who you are meant to be Solid and whole and more full with light and life. Thank you all including those who read this Cough* Cough* oh I must have forgotten to take my allergy medicine with that we will conclude with the lowering of the flag and you will have until ten to do as you please. Will the Audience Please Arise." They perform the flag ceremony and are dismissed and Star and Marco go and find a quiet place in the Cafeteria before they turn in for the night.
"Hey Star who do you think has been chosen to be tickled to death. Wait, you believe that legend? I thought it was just a fictitious campfire story. Wait Star you have never heard of legends it is true and often when it involves that much detail must happen. Well I don’t wanna say this but I think Chloe would be chosen since she is the one who is the most unknown of all the group. I see well we better be off to bed. Wanna grab some hot cocoa before we do, Of course I wanna but maybe tomorrow since I am tired that early wake up call and moving all day has worn me out. Me too let’s hit the hay good night Star. Good Night My Love." Star kisses him on the cheek and they go their separate ways and the night ends.
The Next day goes as planned Star takes up the Drawing Skill and actually has a really great time since no one judged her they actually praised her for what she had done. Lunch that day involves Chili a Camp recipe which they gave all who wished and it was amazing to both Star and Marco but all of her friends and groups. The Blue group was actually winning the points competition and they had a reputation to keep. Marco quite literally before he would let any of his group he was with out of the tent they had to have a spit clean tent. Like they were never there at all and it helped a lot since they rest did a good job and Star was like Marco made sure everything was perfect since she wanted to cream the color teams. "I am So Glad that I finally got to see you. I took your advice. It worked. They said that I was one of their best first timers and asked who had taught me the secret they give when someone is struggling after a little while. I was able to brag about my beautiful Girlfriend. Well Marco you were the one who pulled the bow it wasn’t like I was able to control it so you did the work just as much congrats. What is next on the skills list. Well wanna do some rope courses since I have never heard of something like this before. That sounds Amazing and we totally are going to destroy this course."
They head off to the rope course and run into Tom and Janna who had been doing the skills together all morning and they had made the decision to join in the fun of rope course. "Hey you two didn’t expect you both here together. I thought He wouldn’t mind having a human show him how a rope course goes. I have never tried one before. You're not alone Tom, we both are here to try this out. Now you don’t go chicking out on us once you get up there since we both know you are the safe kid and will get scared and just bail out of the rope course. No, I will do it for my girlfriend and I will show you right now." He heads up the ladder and is meeted at the top by one of the camp instructors who told him to just be calm and he stepped out and wasn’t scared at all but felt so much peace he got through it all faster than Janna had thought he would. "Wow I stand Corrected Mr Hot Shot I will be going up now and don’t expect any applause for your actions safe kid." Star and Tom Followed suit and they had so much fun Star had missed one of the steps and lost her balance for one second but was able to recover and made it the rest of the way around and they decided that they had one final skill they both wanted to participate in which was Crime Investigation.
"Good Afternoon I am Mr Skibbles but you can call Me Detective Skibbles welcome to Crime Investigation. I have laid out the following events that you will be trying to stop our perpetrator who has killed Him!" It is Revealed to be a fake almost too real looking human who was known as Wilbert Homes he had been stabbed by something that was clearly wasn’t a knife but looked like a spike the size of a fence post and Star had Noticed some footsteps heading towards the back of the field they were in which had a huge fence all around and they noticed something odd about one. "Good Job Star Butterfly I see you may have found our weapon of conflict but why a fence post. That is up to you all to find and bring the man responsible to justice." They noticed that there was a sign of hair that had been on the pole and had it examined to see if they could find a match. They took the general clue they had and also looked to see if fingerprints were left behind and they found a set that was taken off by someone known as John who had joined in the module with Star and Marco. It was soon found to be that they had the perpetrator within the group since they all had before they started taken their own fingerprints to make sure that when they found the clues it wasn’t from them but they soon connected all of the clues realizing the only person who would want to kill the man would be the one who was helping them find the man who done it. Star and Marco were given the honor of the arrest and he was taken to what the camp called Detention which was a half an hour stay if you broke one of the rules and he was booked for two hours of Detention and the group was awarded with an Ice pop they got to choose.
"That was amazing Marco. I feel like I could stop a professional crime now with the knowledge we have. Remember Star it is a set up crime not real crime The finding of all the clues is way more difficult in real life than this. I know but I just had to express what I was thinking."
Star and Marco have some fun with water activities and at the end of the Night have a special Ceremony since It was a 4th Of July Special. They roasted hot dogs for dinner and got to see a movie which had been chosen to be Secretariat which embodied the american dream where if you don’t give up and have the right team anything is possible. They lastly have some beautiful fireworks that were Red White and Blue for America. "Star happy fourth of July tomorrow a decision by the people will have been made and it will be great to hear about. I know it seems like almost two months have passed since we brought these worlds together and I have had nothing but joy within it. Maybe magic wasn’t ever needed to be used daily since It seems the more we explore without magic the more joy we seem to have and magic only seems to bring some kind of restriction. LIke we have to be safe. Now we have to be safe in a different way which is so much easier than us having to deal with monsters trying to steal it. Not many know we even have it nor care to notice we are the only teens here with weird shaped marks of hearts and moons on our cheeks. Well that is good, less attention means no questions that are difficult to answer. Well we better be off to bed before it gets too late night Marco. Night Star."
The next day proceeds similarly to the second day more skills they never knew about which were new so they had a totally new batch of skills to choose from one which was horseback riding and they both had done that as their last activity for the day and had so much fun. "This Is like riding a warnicorn but way less crazy or totally wanting to kill someone. Well Star don’t underestimate a horse I have heard they can do a pretty good number to someone who is scared." That Moment Marco was bucked off of his horse and he fell pretty good on his tush and they both headed off to the first aid station to make sure he didn’t break anything.
"Marco Diaz I see you must have been scared since it was like in perfect harmony that you fell off the horse when you mentioned the fact. I know my stupid luck but hey at least nothing is broken just no rough housing for the remainder of the day. Well we should go get a treat from the cafeteria to celebrate you not dying since that would be terrible. Well Star other than your reasons for something to celebrate I totally accept your idea." They head off to the Cafeteria and have a nice Ice cream Sundae which tasted so good and they just relaxed in the grass for the remainder of the day. That night they were told about the legend once again and it was stated that tonight was the night and that one group would wake up tomorrow to one less camper that should be there. Be prepared she warned and they went off to bed and Star and Marco exchanged one last goodbye for now. It picks up late within the evening.
"Boys it is time we must move out or we will lose the chance to get him. He will become our first successful victim to be tickled to death." They proceed to Marco’s tent area which they knew about thanks to Jonathan Wittmen and they succeed kidnapping Marco. He was asleep due to how much he had taken that day he wasn’t startled awake. They leave behind a clue and the next morning James finds the clue and gets his cabin awake.
"Tom and Josh wake up. Marco has been taken by the Tickling Bandits; they got him the safe kid of all people. We need to tell Rozeta and Robert so they could alert the staff we need to gather forces. I will be right back. Star needs to know this since she is the closest to him." James heads over to Star’s Cabin and informs her of what is going on and they move out completely in shock. "Star I am so sorry I didn’t expect him to be the one I knew someone was being abducted but not him. We need to gather the entire school together like the legend says. You lead the troops I am going ahead to scope out the plan we need to take. Just wait, we may be able to do this together like it says. I got over here as fast as I could. He is right Star Butterfly. We need to work as one unit if we wish to stop the bandits. It is how they work they get overwhelmed and surrender. I have seen every time that someone goes alone they will always cause pain and sadness to the victim. Hu I don’t wanna hurt Marco he is my love but I need him back. Star let’s wait for a little bit and gather everyone okay. No I am sorry but I have to do this." Star begins to float and to everyone’s surprise there she turns into her Butterfly form since it would in her opinion be able to find him the quickest. "You need to listen. I know it is hard but don’t over react. It is what is happening to you don’t give in."
She came down and de-transformed at that thought and said her apologies and they waited until the entire school was together. The rumors had spread fast and everyone was ready. "Good Morning everyone as you have heard the bandits have indeed striked and they have taken the One known as Marco Diaz but we need to stand strong and save him. He is in trouble and we can save him together. I will now give You James, and Star Butterfly who will lead the charge. Thank you all for lending your ear to my plea. He is my love and I would be heartbroken if he was gone from my life. I will do my part to help all of us get to where we wish to go and together we will Save Star’s Love Marco Diaz. Well What are we waiting for? Let's see the clue to find him."
They reveal the clue and find out that it was leading to a path that many had taken but not noticed something different about it. They head up the path and discover that bushes they thought were in the ground were now gone as if they were fake and only disguising the path to the Tickle Bandits. They push forward and find Marco was still in one piece.
"Ah Good job welcome to your doom we are not who you think we are Jonathan we are known as the Septarian Brothers and we have been waiting for this day for many years. Our great ancestors were sent here from Mewni when a mistake one of the Queens made with the whole Gravity spell and she abandoned us didn’t even come to see if we were okay. It was a good thing though I think we would have killed her right then and there and ended her line and forever changed history. Wait why did you do this, play a little game just to make sure you had trust when the time was right. Oh yes we knew a descendant of the queen would come to this land and we waited and now we not only have said decedent we have the princess that will forever be known in history as the Queen who ended it all not only passing the lineage back to that monster smoocher but then when the right person who should have ruled tried stopping her you went and destroyed Magic but it seems you still retained your cheek marks meaning you will always have a mark of the butterfly and all who distaste you will know it is you who did everything. What if I didn’t just destroy magic but was given a new form of magic, something I don’t think either of you are expecting but here's the little warning. Marco Grab this."
He grabs the wand and Star transforms once again to her butterfly form and they together begin casting spells on the septarians to drive them out of the land. "I see why Seth always swore that he would take your family's blood when ever he could. Well today is going to play one of two ways either you will leave or we will blast you out of this dimension I have even a nice portal for you three to leave willingly. Why and miss the chance to be stopped by the princess and his royal boyfriend who I didn’t even know could ever do magic. Well now you do and since you haven’t left here is my peace offering for you Warnicorn Blast."
The Warnicorn Stampede Starts up and follows behind with Narwhal Blast and Marco finishes the blow with his own Narwhal Blast allowing for them to be blasted into the sandwich dimension and none of them understood what happened. Janna and Tom Help Star And Marco explain what happened and the promise the director made came true that this would be the last time this legend would echo through the Rockies. Star and Marco join the others in having a great rest of the week and On Friday The Awards Ceremony was an extra special ceremony since they had laid to rest a legend that was in truth a big hoax of the septarian brothers who took advantage and waited for the right time.
"Good Evening everybody as I have learned about the last two days a legend born has also brought to close one full of hoax and disrespect to the honor of our theme but now that legend will mean much more. The last two days were neck in neck after the points that were awarded came out to be a tie. To no one’s surprise you all are camping Extraordinaires and we will always remember that whether we win or lose we all are equal and as great as the next. You all have been made solid as rock but also as movable as sand and your legend will be here forever. I would like to thank my Staff and now the awards. I will Start With Marco Diaz, Star Butterfly, And James Wittson." The three come forward and Star turns to James. "Star I am glad to see you up here. I was worried you wouldn’t want to accept this award. Well I don’t want to but I know that it is more than just an award it is the people thanking that we were there when we were. Speaking of which you are the son of The Camp Director. Yes I am. I knew this day was coming and I didn’t want anyone to know unless I had to and well now I have to since it is the end of camp. I rarely say my last name to people while at school. I am going to be a freshman this coming school year. I see well I will be a junio sophomore since I spent my sophomore year in Mewni. I see well I know that you will be well in either year you are placed. I have been told I will be placed into Junior year to stay with my peers. I don’t know about my friends from Mewni but most likely that they will be placed by general age into their proper years. Well that will be very weird seeing all the people of Mewni in Echo Creek it will be a weird day. Yes it will but School is still two whole months away so lets not worry about it anymore." Star and Marco and James receive the award of courage to stand up to the darkest evils and it was a little pin that they all wore happly. The ceremony ends with the Theme being stated. I now Stand within the Rocks Of Time The Past ringing out reminding all that the freedoms that all stand for live within these rocks. The Future guiding those who step forward with a perfect light never failing those who call upon the rocks. We have carved our own past and pressed forward with these guiding rocks creating who you are meant to be Solid and whole and more full with light and life. They enjoy the rest of the evening and have a great trip back to Echo Creek and Star and Marco sit down with Skywynne and explain what happened and she was glad that she made sure Marco had the wand since he would have been useless otherwise. "Wait does that mean every student in Echo Creek now knows what happened during the septarian run into. Yes but I think they will forget it was a very scary moment and it will be just one part that is carved into the History of the Stones. I am glad we better head off to bed good night."